The Sauna

So, since Germie has finished his rough draft of the first book in my trilogy, I've been inspired to start writing things again. I've written a few short stories in my day. I would be no means say that I am a writer, however. I just like to do it. So I found a website that generates settings, first few words of the first sentence, and then four additional words that must be used in the story. One of my best stories was written with such a prompt. You can read it by going to the archives and picking, "For the Love of Patsy Cline."

This one is a bit sappy but I still enjoyed writing it. Here are the prompts:

setting: in a sauna

first words: The stairs seemed

additional words: quench, drip, dribble, toenails.

So without further ado, I give you, "The Sauna."

The Sauna

The stairs seemed awfully steep for a sauna that catered to the elderly. I was looking for my grandmother who has walked away from me while I was trying to re-register her at the Senior Center. I knew that she loved the sauna so that was the first place that I went to look. By the looks of the stairs, I assumed that the center management only wanted the more agile of the seniors to utilize the sauna.

I started to ascend the steps when a very harsh voice called out, “What do you think you are doing, young lady?!” I turned to see a short, nicely muscled man about 60 years old. He was wearing a towel around his waist and I was praying that he had on shorts underneath.

“I believe my grandmother is in there and I have an appointment I need to take her to.” Grandmother was supposed to be seeing a therapist to help her cope with the recent loss of Grandfather. They did everything together and she was not doing well without him. She seemed lost.

“Well, you can’t go in there dressed like that. All that denim will clog the vent with its fibers.” He then pointed me towards the women’s dressing area. As I entered, I saw a bin marked “soiled” and could only imagine what constituted soiled around here. Next to it was a book shelf, most likely from IKEA, which had each shelf labeled with different sizes. Upon closer inspection, I was pleasantly surprised to see stacks of blue cotton cover-ups that matched the polish on my toenails. I was afraid that the older man intended me to enter into the sauna with nothing but a towel on. That would never do. Now I can be fully covered and be color coordinated.

I grabbed an appropriately sized cover up and changed. I took a fresh towel off of the stack by the door to the shower area and then stepped back out in the hallway leading to sauna. To my surprise, the older man was still standing just at the bottom of the stairs. Apparently he was waiting to make sure I didn’t sneak in with my jeans on. He had his arms crossed over his chest which made the 5 long grey hairs stand up. He looked at me sternly and asked, “What is your grandmother’s name?”

“Margaret Tennyman,” I answered.

His face immediately softened. It was then that I noticed the drip of sweat that was rolling down his neck to his chest. He must have gone into the sauna before meeting me at the stairs.

“You’re Margie’s granddaughter? She talks about you often. She is one of the best people. Period.”

My grandmother had been quite the burden lately due to her grief. It was strange to hear someone say that about her. I knew that she wasn’t a bad person but that she was a handful. Even the center staff would tell me that she had trouble following direction to the point of endangering herself. I loved my grandmother but I was struggling with her. And I had my own grief over the loss of my grandfather to contend with.

I mumbled out a short, “Thank you,” and tried to move past him to go up the stairs. He stepped in front of me and looked me in the eyes.

“You be gentle with her. Try to understand.”

I was startled. Trying not to show it, I said, “Yes, sir.”

He then let me pass. I opened the door and received a blast of hot air on my face. It was so steamy in there that I had trouble seeing. Then I heard her voice.

“…one of the happiest moments of my life. There she stood with her trophy hugged to her chest and smiling so wide you could see all of her missing teeth. I can see it like a photograph in my mind. That adorable blue dress with the pink flowers just made her blue eyes sparkle...”

As she continued her story, I realized that she was talking about me. She was telling the story of when I won my 3rd grade talent show. I had sung a song that my mother used to sing to me when she would rock me to sleep.

“…I was so proud that she had inherited her grandfather’s musical ability! My! Kenneth could sing! I believe that’s when I fell in love with him, when he sang to me.”

“Grandmother?”

I heard another voice answer as my eyes began to adjust. “Margie, is this her? Your songbird?”

“Jessie?! What are you doing here, honey? Dribble some more water on the stones and then come over here and sit next to me.”

I did as I was instructed and then told her, “Grandmother, you had me worried. You disappeared as I was talking to the girl at the front desk.”

The older man from the stairs sat down across from us and responded, “Kaylie is a nice enough girl but she sure can make someone drowsy from how long it takes to finish all her paperwork.”

As I looked around the sauna I saw four people in addition to my grandmother and myself. The sauna guard, who I later learned was named Ernest, a very plump woman with dark grey hair named Lucinda, a tall skinny woman with her long salt and pepper hair pulled into a tight bun named Lynn, and a small petite woman named Pearl. The woman who asked if I was my grandmother’s songbird was Lucinda.

“Oh dear, you shouldn’t have worried about me. I know everyone here and everyone here knows me. This is the safest place I could be, besides with my Kenneth.”

Everyone else nodded their agreement with this statement. Then as if she wasn’t interrupted, my grandmother continued to tell about the regional competition that 3rd grade me won with the song, “The Sun’ll Come Out Tomorrow.” She very clearly described the red curly wig I wore and how many bobby pins were required to keep in on my head over my thick brown hair. Grandmother described the glow of pride on my Grandfather’s face as he watched me perform. As she told the story I recalled how my grandfather lifted me up in the air to twirl me around saying, “Good job, Honeybee! That’s my girl!” My grandfather was always so strong. I didn’t think that anything could stop him, especially not cancer. The cancer came on so quick and by the time that he was diagnosed, he only had 8 days left on this earth.

I began to cry softly. Because of the darkness of the room and the sweat that was now pouring down my face, no one noticed.

Lynn then reflected on her sister. Lynn told us that her sister, Jane, would make the best pies and that Lynn had convinced her to enter one of them into the county fair’s contest. Jane, who loved to make pies, actually entered a pie in every category, and won each one. Lynn laughed as she shared that Jane was embarrassed because she thought everyone would be convinced that she cheated somehow.

Lucinda, who had laughed along with Lynn said, “I bet you sure miss those pies.”

“I sure do. It’s probably one of the things that I think of daily since I lost her. It’s a good memory so it doesn’t get me sad like some of the times that I think about her. What I would give to taste her chocolate cream pie again. She got the balance just right: not to light and not to dense. Oh! I think I just made my stomach grumble!” She chuckled as she rubbed her abdomen.

One-by-one, each shared a story about a loved one that they had lost. Lucinda spoke of her mother and the way that she would braid Lucinda’s hair so tight that she would have to skip recess for having a headache. Pearl shared how her best friend and she would try to convince the boys to let them play stick ball with them. Pearl said that one day her and Peggy dressed up like boys and tricked the boys into believing that they were new in the neighborhood. When Pearl and Peggy out hit every boy there, they took off their hats to reveal their true identities and it caused quite a ruckus. Ernest even shared how his wife and he used to go dancing every Friday night. Ernest said that she was admitted to the hospital for the last time on a Saturday and they had gone out dancing the night before.

Finally, Lucinda turned to me, “What about you, songbird? Do you have a story to share?”

I was taken aback. During the whole story-telling, I just viewed myself as an observer not an actual participant. Once I got over my initial shock, it wasn’t difficult to find a story to tell.

“When I was 5 years old, I wanted so badly to take the training wheels off of my bike. My dad, who was never really in the picture because he had to work all the time, couldn’t teach me. My grandfather was very eager to see me without the training wheels so he volunteered as soon as he heard my complaint. He took me to the garage and we took out my bike. I still remember, it had a pink and white basket with streamers hanging off of the handles. He got his tools and took the training wheels off. He tried to explain how to ride a two-wheeled bike but I must have made a face because he jumped on my tiny bike and started wheeling around. He looked so silly with his legs sticking out from the sides. I giggled as he rode around. Finally he stopped and said ‘Hop on.’ He held it as I got on and walked with me down the driveway to the sidewalk. He turned the bike and asked me if I was ready to try. When I nodded he pushed the bike but didn’t move his foot so I rode right over it. I fell before he even let go mostly because I was laughing at running over his foot. I kept laughing as he hopped up and down, holding his foot, acting as if I had rolled over it with a steamroller. He was always goofing around like that. Every time I take my bike out on the trails, I think of that day and smile.”

I looked at my grandmother and she was smiling. She patted my arm and said, “That was a great memory. You didn’t know it but I was watching from the window ready to bring out a Band-Aid. I should have known better. It would always take nearly losing a limb before you would cry over a boo boo.”

Ernest suddenly said, “Wait a minute, doesn’t Margie have an appointment to get to?”

I haven’t seen my grandmother look as happy as the time she spent in that sauna with her friends. All this time I thought my grandmother was retreating from the world and reality when all she needed as a place to relive her good memories. I’d been disconnecting from her as she tried to grieve and I was too caught up in the technical aspects of grief that I couldn’t grieve myself. How silly of me to think that grief could quench her spirit. True it is with great sadness that she, and I, must transition from experiencing my grandfather to reliving memories, but it’s in reliving those memories that he still lives. In that time in that sauna, I began to understand my grandmother in a whole new way. Suddenly, she didn’t seem like such a burden, but rather a comrade through a trial.

“No,” I answered Ernest. “I believe she got everything she needed here.”

Celebrity Crushes

I know that Curtis won't be too thrilled with this journal entry but it was the only journal prompt that I found that wasn't whiney or really serious. So here it is, I present to you:

3 Celebrity Crushes!!!!

1. Johnny Depp

Now I know that there are plenty of people out there who have a crush on Johnny Depp, however, my crush originated during the 21 Jumpstreet era. I know he's all scruffy and hippie-esque now, but the Johnny that I crushed on was the young bad/good boy.

2. Sean Connery

Unlike Johnny, I find myself still crushing on the older Sean Connery. He may be closing in on 82 years old, but he's still a very...um...attractive man. Young Sean was also very...um...attractive. Not gonna lie, SNL's Celebrity Jeopardy contributed to my "love" of Sean Connery.

3. Liam Neeson. Not sure I need to explain this one too much except he is one of the nicest guys who can seriously kick some tail. Did you see Taken? Awesome. And because we all know that I love the Celts, Rob Roy was one of my favorite Liam roles. He was even incredible as an animated lion.

Honorable Mention. This one was hard to pick. The first three were obvious to me. I thought about Ryan Reynolds and Robert Downey, Jr (Carr!e has the rights to that one). I also thought about non-drunk, non-antisemitic spouting Mel Gibson. I finally settled on Gerard Butler. Obviously, there's something about the Scottish accent that I looooooooooove. I think I've...respected...Gerard's work since the life changing movie of Lara Croft Tomb Raider: The Cradle of Life. Crush worthiness was solidified with the movie 300.

Final Note:

My biggest crush is not on a celebrity. I go absolutely weak at the knees when it comes to a certain computer nerd. What can I say? I love nerds, one in particular.

(previous two pictures taken by Aphrodite Photography)

frustration

It is really quite amazing to me how quickly I get frustrated these days. Has my tolerance changed or do I now have some of the most infuriating people in my life? Or maybe I'm more tuned in to these negative emotions now that I have all this training.

Either way, I'm not digging it (I'm bringing that phrase back, ya dig?). This morning I cried because I was so frustrated. The tears came because I realized that telling off your boss is not a wise choice.

Bit of a confession (though it shouldn't come as a surprise to anyone): One of the quickest ways to get me frustrated and/or angry is to treat me like I'm stupid.

For my first post in quite some time, this sure is whiny. I'm just glad I have a prayer partner and parents that pray for me.

Let's see if I can end this on a positive note. This morning on my way to work, the lady in front of me in the Starbucks drive-thru paid for my coffee. I would have paid it forward for the person behind me but he was driving a BMW. I'll pay it forward when someone is behind me counting out their change driving a pinto.

Plague of Mosaic Proportions

Allow me to set the scene for you. At work we have what is called “The Unit.” It is a mostly wooden building where we seclude the population of the community that is considered unsafe. Usually what would land someone in The Unit are things like aggression, continual breaking of male/female restriction, and causing physical harm to others. The Unit, at this particular time had 5 guys in it. The counseling staff and the other head honchos (including the one in charge of the Unit) were assessing a few of the clients seeing if they needed to be admitted.

We had decided that one needed to go thus taking the count to 6.

We had made a decision that there was one more that needing to go so we brought him into the conference room to discuss the matter. During the discussion, the head honcho of The Unit gets an urgent phone call and she zooms, yes zooms, out of the room. But not before she makes a page overhead for maintenance to go to The Unit…STAT!

As we continue our discussion with the client we are about to send, over the radio we hear commotion. Yes, commotion.

Then we get a phone call in the conference room from The Unit head honcho saying that we can’t send anyone else to The Unit.

Ok, so we send the client we were dealing with on his way with a stern talking to and an understanding that he can’t mess up again.

Then the head honcho shows up again.

Termites have taken over The Unit and those that are currently in there need to be moved.

How bad is it? How can anybody tell?

Oh it’s bad, they’ve come out of the walls and are covering the floor.

*deep breath*

Now, I’m put in a position where I have to decide if I want to be the good employee or the passive one. I decide that I’ll be helpful. Another teammate and I decide to go over to The Unit and help the staff transfer these clients to their new location. I keep telling myself since they are still over there, it can’t possibly be that bad.

That’s what I get for thinking.

I walk into The Unit and look to my right through the security window into the North Wing.

PAUSE

I’d like to pause here for a moment and say that I realize in the past I have been known to exaggerate slightly for the good of a story. I want to be perfectly clear here when I say that there is NO exaggeration here. When it comes to bugs, I’m not even the squeamish one. When my brother and I shared an apartment, I was the spider killer. I feel like I need to explain that as I continue with my story.

RESUME

I look into the North Wing to see bugs pouring over the floor and walls. Didn’t know termites had wings until this very moment. What a joyous moment to learn that lesson.

Rob and I step into the dayroom of The Unit where only one door is separating us from the North Wing. That door has a two inch gap along the bottom. Termites are starting to pour into the day room as the six boys are pressed against the south wall in preparation to for transition.

The head honcho comes in and gives them a sweet speech about holding it together as we transition them and that it won’t take long for them to fumigate The Unit should it be necessary for one or more of them to come back. After that, they were each given their flip flops one at a time.

It took everything I had within me to stand there calmly and professionally while hoards of bugs were swarming less than three feet away from me. Did I mention that they fly? That means that some of them weren’t contained to the wall and floor three feet away from me!!! Every fiber of my being wanted to scream and run out of there in a panic stricken terror.

It’s the day after and I’ve had two showers since then.

I still get itchy just thinking about it.

I’m telling you, the only reason why one of the plagues that God sent to pharaoh wasn’t termites is simply because either there wasn’t enough wood or he didn’t want to leave them homeless.

Through the air with the greatest of ease

My work day was coming to a close and it was a true Friday (meaning I didn’t have to work on Saturday). I did have to stay late as I had to do a second intervention with a kid before I left but that’s ok because it was Friday!! I check my phone and see a message from my father that states: Going to Chinese for supper around 6-6:30.

This was followed by a second message that stated: just saying.

Sweet! Chinese! Of course, I’m running late but hopefully I can meet them in time.

Oh miracle of miracles, I get another text from my dad! This one reads: Meet me on the square. Park next to me in front of the BBQ.

Score. Not only am I not too late, but I also don’t have to drive the whole way there.

So, my dad and I are riding along listening to his music choice (hmm) and just chatting…like we do…when up ahead, in the middle of 175, we see a man walking towards us. Well, walking is a stretch. He is sauntering/stumbling. He is obviously disoriented. My dad immediately pulls over the car and before it comes to a full stop my door opens and I go running after the man.

That’s right folks, Fatty McGee went running down 175 with my dad following. My dad started to stop traffic as I went out to the middle of the highway to grab him. (Of course I thought they were stopping at the sight of ME running at them.)

“Sir!! Are you ok?!”

“Whah?”

I grab his arm and I can immediately smell the alcohol. My dad grabs his other arm but I guess the wind is blowing just right so he can’t smell the booze. The guy is having trouble responding to the leadings of Deatons but he is coming along. By this we are joined by another do-gooder named Chino, who coincidentally lives 4 houses down from my brother and comes to my church every Thursday with his little boy for T-ball. Or is that spelled tee ball?

Sorry, I derailed. I try to get him to sit down but he’s having none of it so I get him to lean up against a van and Chino is helping to guard him. My dad is on the phone with the 911. My fear at this point is that Justin (that’s his name which is the only information that we could get from him besides the fact that he didn’t know anything) was going to start swinging. So I just kept my hand on his arm so that if he starting swinging I could grab the one arm and pray that Chino could grab the other. At this point, even if Chino couldn’t, this guy was so smashed, all I had to worry about was dodging the first swing and then he would be done. His own momentum would take him down.

Well, after watching him pee his pants (twice), helping the cop take him to the ground, one over bearing woman with some extremely bad ideas, and a quick report to the nice policeman, my dad and I were once again on our way and were soon having Chinese food with my mother, which was really the whole point of the evening anyway.

When my dad and I were explaining to my mom why we were so late my dad kept saying that he was just waiting to see a body flying through the air because it was that dangerous of a situation. I wasn’t even looking at the cars, I was just looking at the man. I guess that what makes my dad and me such a good team in situations because we look at things differently. He saw the cars and what could possibly kill me and the guy, I just saw the guy that needed to get out of the street.

I wish I could say that this is the only time we’ve ever been in such a situation that would test this team theory, but it’s not.

*sigh*

It’s not.

I have a fiance

The announcement slide had said that if you missed Sparky’s surprise skit at the fundraiser luncheon you would regret it. In the past, all of his skits have been extremely creative and fun so I was looking forward to it. Plus, I knew who was doing the cooking so I had my reservations for the upcoming event.

As we were sitting at our little table eating our salads, Curtis said that the skit was one of those that involved Sparky taking people from the audience. Considering our history of making fun of each other, I had a feeling I was in trouble.

I look over and see that in addition to Curtis’s parents who arrived earlier to watch the puppet black light show, Curtis’s grandparents arrived.

Now, Curtis’s granddad is a pastor at a church of his own and finished his morning duties (he he, duties) and then they came to our church for lunch.

“Hey, you’re grandparents are here! Why are they here?”

“I don’t know. Sparky, why are granddad and them here?”

“I don’t know, I guess to support the puppet ministry.”

Now, I would like to think that I am an intelligent person. However, my brain stopped working. I didn’t put any of it together. Other people told me later that they figured out what was happening. I would like to think that God made me intentionally stupid at this moment. Especially when Curtis’s mom pulled out her video camera at this next part.

Sparky steps up to the podium and announces that he, and whoever he gets from the audience to help him, will be performing the favorite fairy tale, “Cinderella.”

Immediately, Steven began to heckle. Now I KNEW I was in trouble.

Sure enough, I was chosen to play the role of Cinderella. I was handed an apron and a broom. My evil step mother was a police chief and my evil step sisters were a juvenile probation officer and a dog catcher, both male, all three in bad wigs.

Then my fairy god mother arrives. Darin. He, I’m sorry, she, had long blonde hair, fairy wings and a wand. Oh and she spoke like Yoda, thanks to the heckler.

Then comes Prince Charming. My Prince Charming, Curtis. Of, course, he had a wig too.

Sparky walked us through the whole story including dancing and shoes and all.

Then came the moment when Prince Charming gets down on one knee. Now, I thought Sparky was just teasing him again for taking FOREVER to advance our relationship. Then Curtis reached into his pocket and pulled out a ring box.

Wait, a minute! Sparky didn’t give him that prop.

Now, let me give you a little side note for a moment: One night, a couple months into our relationship, as Curtis walked me to the door after a date, he reached into his pocket and pulled out a box that had a candy heart in it. He gave it to me. I read the heart and it said, “Kiss me.” And that was how our first kiss happened.

Another night, I handed him a box that said the words, “Love ya” which brought about the first time we said I love you to each other.

Ok, back to the story.

So, Curtis has this ring box, he’s down on one knee, wearing a mullet wig, and I’m confused because I still don’t know what’s going on. Curtis opens the ring box and inside is a candy heart that says, “Marry me.”

That’s when the neurons kicked in and I understood: Curtis is asking me to marry him!!!

The crowd went wild! It was like it was a football game with all the whooping and hollering. I looked up and Alexis was crying (so was Darin).

Then he reaches into his other pocket and pulls out the most beautiful ring I’ve ever seen.

I said yes.

1979, please Alex

How much was gas when you started driving?

WikiAnswers says 88 cents. At first I thought, "no way." Then I remember driving to Gaffney to get gas because it was 99 cents. Now I feel even older than Taylor says I am.

Did you ever own a record player?

still do.

What year did you graduate high school?

1997

Do you own any Oldies Music? If so, what?

holy cow yes. I have most eras, including Baroque. My favorite is the old standards, Frank Sinatra, Louis Prima, Dean Martin.

Where did you go on your first date?

My dad took me to a play and The Balcony restaurant in Fort Worth on my 13th birthday. He wore a tux.

Do or did you own a pair of roller skates?

I inherited my brother's. They were blue with red wheels. I currently own a pair of Sketchers roller skates. Do I know how to use them? No. I'd fall. I'd fall very painfully.

Have you ever played skip-it?

Heck yeah!! Fun times.

Do you remember moon shoes?

More fun times. My science teacher had a pair.

Did you ever do the Macarana dance?

yes, and I am ashamed of myself. I will never do it again if I have any say in the manner.

What was your first pet's name?

Jiggs

Have you ever dyed your hair a weird color?

not really. it was weird for me and everyone that knew me, I tried blonde once. Mark Dougherty was the only one that liked it besides me.

Did you ever play four square?

still do. Pudge Girl is a four square masta

What about Hopscotch?

yeah, but I didn't really like it. preferred bikes and skateboards and stuff like that. Oh! and making a house out of a refridgerator box.

Or Dodgeball?

who didn't? It was a way for bullies to perform legal executions in gym class.

Have you ever won a goldfish at the fair?

no, never really did the games.

Where did you meet your best friend?

I believe the first time I ever met her was when she came to see Grease. But I knew who she was before that, not sure how. Maybe it was when she came to see The Elephant Man. Did you come see The Elephant Man?

Do you know how to do the Electric Slide?

hello?! A night at Scuffletown or any wedding/school dance/Women of Faith conference is not complete without the Eletric Slide

Did you like strawberry or chocolate milk better?

Chocolate

What was your favorite food as a kid?

I believe it was Kraft Macaroni and Cheese...or is it Cheese and Macaroni

What was the 1st video game console you owned?

Texas Instruments

How old were you when you got your first car?

16

What was your 1st job?

Off the books-mowing lawns in the trailer park, on the books-grocery store cashier

Have you ever had a fuzzy steering wheel?

heck yeah, looking for a new one. my favorite was the pink fuzzy one. Can't find one.

Have you ever made rice krispy treats?

I don't think I have

How old were you when you got a house key?

9

Ever met Geoffrey the giraffe?

Oh no. Mom made a rule of not taking us to toy stores. I believe she made a wise decision with that one.

Did the robots on the chuck-e-cheese stage scare you?

I don't really remember going to chuck-e-cheese as a kid. We were kinda poor back then. I didn't know it at the time, but looking back, yeah, we had no money for such things.

What was the first rollercoaster your rode?

I was 17 or 18 and I had gone on a family vacation and brought Jeanine with us. We went to Cedar Point in Sandusky, OH (home of Callahan Auto) and I rode 5 of the 10 rollercoasters. Cedar Point was in the Book of Guiness World Records for having the most roller coasters.

What is your favorite arcade game?

Q-Bert

Who was your first sleepover with?

Probably at the Perez's house

Have you ever had a really big stuffed animal from the fair?

no

If so, who won it for you?

Not Applicable

What is your favorite ride at the fair?

Little aprehensive about riding a ride controlled by some guy named Bart who is available for working the fair because he recently got released from his previous job for refusing to wear anything other than tank tops. His naked lady tattoos were offending the little old ladies at the grocery store. His incessant chain smoking also kept setting off the smoke alarm in the staff bathroom.

What's the best fair food?

Funnel Cakes from my own personal experience, but I've heard that the new Chicken Fried Bacon at the Texas State Fair is to die for. Literally, it will kill you.

How old were you when you got your piercings / tatoos?

First ear piercings-5, second-18, third-20, cartilage orbital-28, nose-21, tattoo-21

What were your high school colors?

red and black

How long can you make it on a pogo stick?

not sure I can even make it on to the pogo stick

Did you have a red wagon?

no, my brother did to deliver his newspapers

Did you have a motor powered fisher price car?

no idea what you are talking about. I was having to much fun on my sit-n-spin to worry about a motor powered car

Did you ride the school bus? Was it short?

yes, yes i did. no, no it wasn't

What was your favorite toy as a kid?

my cabbage patch kids, star wars figurines, transformers, and gi joes.

Do you remember the 'My Buddy/Kid Sister' theme song?

yes, and poo on you because now I'm singing them in my head

What do you miss most about your childhood?

no responsibilities. I just want to go back to the days when someone would take care of me and all I had to be concerned with is putting the crayons back in the box the way I found them. (yes, I had OCD as a child too)

What friend of yours have you known the longest? How long?

Oh I don't know how to answer this. You mean that I still talk to? I guess Mark Zeiner. I've known him for 16 years. I'm still in vague contact with others but that's only through Facebook. Mark actually emails me and he has my phone number.

Have you seen every episode of Full House?

yes (I am so ashamed)

Were there any shows you were forbidden to watch as a kid?

yes, I wasn't allowed to watch any other cartoons except Disney ones. The other cartoons had stuff like anvils falling on people and animals running off cliffs and surviving. My parents were well aware of how my brother and I thought through things. We would've tried them. They were very smart.

Did you have a limit as to how much tv you could watch per day?

no, when I lived in Ohio, it wasn't a problem.

Were you allowed to have sweets before dinner?

I don't remember

Did your parents tell you they walked barefoot, up and down the mountain in the snow to school?

No, but I think my mom actually did. Have you ever spent a winter in upstate New York?