"B" is for Believable

Since my sister (in-law) moved to Hong Kong 4 years ago, I have found my improvisation skills have weakened. I miss my Lexus for many reasons but this reason proves that her absence is a detriment to me. Let me explain.

Lexus can be somewhat gullible. It has provided me with much amusement over the years. The way this usually manifests with me is that she will be wondering about something out loud and I provide the answer. More often than not, my answer is made up on the spot. However, Lexus finds them very believable. In her defense, I'm very good at making them sound plausible while keeping my face straight. Let's see if I can think of any example.

I just texted her to see if she remembers an actual example. Meanwhile, I'll make one up. One day, Lexus and I may be talking about some of the plays I've been in including Nunsense. Then in the midst of the conversation, Lexus will wonder, "I wonder why nuns wear those habits." The following is something I might tell her:

Well, you know how back in the early church, women always had their head covered? When Peter was named the first Pope, the Catholics want to still show respect but want to prove how they were better. So they took it further and covered themselves from head to foot. To differentiate themselves from the Muslims, they would leave their faces completely bare with the white framing to symbolize God's purity in their lives. 

Lexus would say, "Really?" then, "Wait, are you lying to me?"

Seems totally believable to me.

"A" is for Anime

I am totally copying my friend, Jeremy, and doing a blogging challenge. The goal is to do a blog a day in April (except Sundays) and use the alphabet as the guide. I'm starting a day late so I'll blog on this Sunday to catch up. So here we go.

"A" is for Anime

I have a friend that has a problem. Anything that has to do with Japan makes her squeal like a little kid opening presents on Christmas morning. Her biggest obsession (of sorts) is anime. I have a few other friends that are also really into anime but she's a bit ridiculous.

Since she and I are really close friends, I have been exposed to more anime than I care to admit. I even went to Anime North Texas (there was a Groupon). I gave in and started watching one called Attack on Titan. It was interesting but it kinda lost me after a while. I stopped watching right before the female Titan came around.

Then came RWBY. I watched all that was available because I was watching it with others. And true, I even have a favorite character. It was fun but when the third season came out, I didn't watch it. I know I will eventually but I think it can only be watched on Crunchy Roll and I don't have a subscription. I'm sure it will come out on Netflix. I'll watch it then.

Now, I'm making an effort with another one. Full Metal Alchemist. I've been told that the Brotherhood is the best but how can you jump into the middle of a complicated story. I've started from the beginning and so far it has my attention which means that it is distracting me from homework and paperwork.

Gotta say, the little kids in this show are absolutely adorable.

You can read Jeremy's A to Z Challenge here.

Thanks, Jeremy, for introducing me to the A-to-Z Challenge.

Cement and a Baby Food Jar

I arrived here at Denny’s to do homework and needed to get my backpack out of my trunk. As I was walking to my trunk, I lost track of the cement barrier used to stop the cars from going over a curb. I knew it was there and I even picked my foot up to step over it. But, I was too late. 

I went down. 

As I am sprawled with my left leg tucked under me and my elbow in the grass, I take an assessment of myself and I seem to be doing just fine. Nothing is screaming in pain and I can still feel all my fingers and toes.

I hear a voice, “Are you ok?” 

There’s a lady a couple of cars down who saw the whole thing. “Yes, I'm fine. Thanks so much.” 

“Do you need help up?” 

I giggle. “No, I'm good. Thank you for asking. That's really sweet.”

I look down at the grass where my elbow is currently encased in cold mud and see that there is a shattered baby food jar right near my hand. “Whew! That could have been bad.”

I hobble myself off the ground and notice some red spots on the curb. Then a couple more. Apparently I did NOT miss the baby food jar. My pinky had a large piece of skin that was “shaved” off.

Nice.

I wrap my finger in a napkin from my car (thanks to the example set forth by my father, I had plenty) and go inside to the bathroom. Good thing no one was in there because it looked like I had killed someone. Who knew a pinky could bleed so much? I wrapped it up in a paper towel and secured it with a hair tie from my bag. Linda, the manager, took one look at my bandage and told me that, "It's ok, Mexicans do that, too." She then got me a Band-aid.

So now, as I sit here writing this, I am starting to feel the spot where my knee smacked the pavement and where my ankle twisted a little. Doesn't hurt that much though.

Only I could fall in a concrete parking lot and get hurt by a baby food jar.

1% for 5 years

I know how it will go down

I know what I will say

I know how she will react

But I still must say it

I have to

“I’m praying for you.”

“As long as you don’t pray

For me to get better”

“Don’t worry. I’m not”

“What?”

“Instead, I’m praying that

I will stop

Being angry at you”

“Why would you be angry?”

“You chose. You chose this.

I’ve watched you slowly kill yourself

My whole life

My brother’s son won’t know you

He deserves to know you

And you, him.

My future child will not know you

That child deserves to know you

And you, the child.

As I long for an uncle I’ve never met,

Our children will long for you

I’m angry because you are making

Your mother lose another child

But most of all,

I’m praying that

You will remember the God of your youth”

“It’s the same god.”

“No, it isn’t.

Your god wants you to be love

And to transcend to a higher plane

My God IS love

And descended to our lowness

Because He loves me

And you

Remember Him. Please.

He remembers you.”

I know how it will go down

I know what I will say

I know how she will react

But I still must say it

Mustn't I?

a little self-centered

When someone leaves the church, I become distressed. Doesn't matter who they are, I still get distressed. Actually, distressed is not the right word.

I get angry.

Ok, ok, anger is a secondary emotion resulting from something else usually fear or hurt. For me, that primary emotion is hurt. I know it’s not all about me and people have to make decisions based on what’s good for them. I also understand that the universe does not revolve itself around me; however, I’m still hurt. Before labeling me a self-centered bellyache, let it be known that I understand what is about to be said sounds very egocentric. But when things happen, I immediately think about what I might be able to do to make it better or to look at what I might have done wrong. So, while there are other issues involved, this is what is going on in my head. Let me explain my anger/hurt.

I thought I had made a true connection with those in my church. I thought we were friends and that I was invested in their life as they were invested in mine. I have spent hours and hours with these people over the years sharing my heart with them and listening to their problems. I have also spent hours simply having fun with these people.

Yet, they could walk away.

Not just from me but from the other people who have also invested in them. My tenure as a minister and as a part of a church family, whether here or in various other parts of the country, I have experienced the pain and loss of people…just…leaving. It feels like I’m being traded in so they could trade up. It seems as if I’m not important enough to try. I feel forgettable.

I know that when people leave the church that they aren't trying to hurt me. That doesn't make the hurt any less. I read posts on Facebook about people and their new church and how much fun they are having and my heart hurts because our relationship was so easily pushed aside.

A lot of these emotions and taking it personally comes from my own insecurities that were conceived in the third grade and cemented in by my high school best “friend” who really just used me for my car and to get to my brother.

I don’t easily share myself with other people because I’m afraid of getting burned. I’m still not sure if I’m going to actually post this because of what the response may be. I usually keep my hurt to myself and hide behind anger or even pretend that it isn't bothering me. I want to be perceived as strong and that I didn't give someone else the power over my emotions.

But I’m not strong.

I’m vulnerable.

And every time someone leaves it makes me that much more hesitant to share myself again.

Weirdo Series: A Harlot

Things have been quite interesting for me. I'm still trying to make sense of it. A whole city fell down around me!! I knew it was going to happen but that doesn't make the experience anymore incredible when it happens. *sigh* Let me start from the beginning.

I lived in Jericho. I had a good job. Well, I had to work most nights but I got paid well. I hated my job, it was very degrading. I won't really get into what I actually did for a living but let me put it this way: the women in the neighborhood would call their children to them when I walked by. I was a bit of an outcast.  Since what I did wasn't glamorous job, I lived in a questionable neighborhood on the city wall.

My job took me throughout the city and I interacted with some very influential people. I heard most of the news of what was going on in and out of Jericho. I heard about the Red Sea crying up so the Israelites could cross and escape the Egyptians. I also heard about how two kings of big kingdoms had been defeated. Wait. Not just defeated, completely destroyed. None of the gods my countrymen worshiped were half as mighty.

Or reliable.

I didn't know much about Him, but I was sure that this was a god that I wanted to know more about. And even better yet, to serve. What a mighty God indeed.

One day, as I was working in my garden, I saw two men walking down the alleyway. They obviously did not belong in our city and I knew the city guard would be coming soon. I brought them into my home and hid them upstairs under some piles of flax I had on the roof drying so I could make linen. Apparently, somebody else saw the men and saw them in my yard and told on me. The city guard paid me a visit telling me to bring the men out. I knew that denying it would just get me thrown in jail. Jericho jails were not known for their luxury. So I told them that, yes, the men came to my house but that they had left and had already gone out the city gates. I told the guard that if they hurried they might be able to catch them.

The timing was perfect. The guards left the city and started searching and as soon as they had left, the city gates were shut so they could not come back in until morning.

I knew that these men were here to scout out our city in preparation for battle. I also knew that they would win. So did everyone else in the city. Everyone in town was freaking out and started to just accept whatever defeat would be coming. My people are a proud people and it was weird to see them lose heart like that. Whatever God these Israelites worshiped was truly mighty.

Before they fell asleep, I went to talk to the men. I told them the attitude of the men of the city including how upset they were about everything they have heard. I also told them how I respected and revered the LORD. I asked them if they could spare my life and the lives of my family when they destroyed the city.

These men spoke plainly to me. They said that if I didn't tell anybody of their plan or presence that they would surely save me. They told me to gather my family at my house and that if any of them were not in my house, they would die. They told me to hang a scarlet rope out of my window so the Israelites would know to protect us.

I gave my word.

I also told them what I told the guards and then suggested that they leave the city and wait until the guards came back before returning to their tribes. I lowered them out of my window which was on the wall. They made it out safely.

I did exactly what I said I would do. I gathered my family and hung a red rope out my window. Then I saw an army just walking around our city. They weren't trying to raze the walls or knock down the gates. They just walked with trumpets blowing. They did this for 6 days and then on the 7th, they just kept walking. I saw them walk by my window 7 times. After the 7th time, I heard a man talking to the people. I'm not quite sure what he said but I swear I heard my name. Then all of a sudden they all starting shouting. 

It was so loud! But it was nothing compared to the sound of the walls falling. FALLING! Those walls were so strong. No army had every conquered those walls and now they were falling. Half of my house was gone!

But all of us were safe. Somehow, with all the rubble and the crashing and the horrible noises, we were all safe! What a might God indeed.

Eventually, the two men that I had hid came and took my family and myself out of the city. Nothing stood. Everything was destroyed. What a mighty God indeed!

After that day, I stayed with the Israelites until my dying day. They became my people and their God became my God. I met a man named Salmon who was the son of the tribal leader of Judah. We got married and had kids. I am actually the great-great grandmother to King David.

That's right! THE King David! Eventually, the Savior of mankind would come from my line. The line of a harlot. 

What a mighty God indeed.

Weirdo Series: Noah's Wife

Currently in our youth group at Grace Fellowship, they are doing a series called, "Making the Bible Come Alive." Various adults have been portraying different characters in the Bible such as Ruth, Naomi, Mary Magdalene, Michael (the angel), and Peter. I volunteered to portray a character and doing so prompted an idea for me to write a series of "monologues" from the perspective of an Outsider. Below is part 1 of the Weirdo Series.

weird•o

ˈwi(ə)rdō/

Noun informal

1. a person whose behavior seems strange or eccentric.

2. an Outsider

I know you guys had been starving for rain but that you’ve been getting some good rain recently. Just imagine something with me. Imagine if it had never rained. Ever. Yeah. You don’t think people could survive like that? Well, let me tell you something, I was there. It wasn’t until I was old with grown children of my own that I had ever seen rain. Here let me tell you how it happened:

My name is…well, my name isn’t important…but you might recognize my husband’s name, Noah. When my husband was born his father said, “This one will bring us relief from the agonizing labor of our hands, caused by the ground the LORD has cursed.” Can you even imagine such a prophecy? If I had known that Lamech, that was my father-in-law, had said that about Noah, I might not have married him. That’s a lot of responsibility that I may not have wanted to be a part of. Little did I know.

One day, my husband comes to me and says that God had spoken to him. He said that God told him that He was going to destroy every creature on the earth because of their wickedness. What?! I thought that Noah was a good man and that all that praying and singing and stuff was what God wanted. I started to have a bit of a panic attack.

Well, as I was breathing into a little leather sack, Noah told me that God also commanded him to build a big ol’ boat because He was going to save our family. To which I responded, “What’s a boat?” Then Noah said that it was going to rain. To which I responded, “What’s rain?” Then Noah said that God was going to use the rain to flood the earth. To which I responded, “What’s a flood?” Noah explained that God made a covenant with him that He would save our family and a bunch of animals and plants…and only us.

Well, I knew better than to argue with God but I got a little nervous when I thought about how this was going to look to the neighbors. When I said a big ‘ol boat, I wasn’t kidding. Imagine this room times 12, and then a little more! That’s how long the boat was. Now take this room times 3, that’s how wide the boat was. And, and it was 3 stories high!!! This was not just some project boat in the backyard or basement that could be easily hidden under a tarp. No, this massive thing was out there in the open for everyone to see!! And everyone did see.

It became difficult to go to the grocery store or the fabric store because people would whisper about me as I passed. The braver ones would ask me questions which I could not answer. And people would make fun of Noah and what he was doing. Since He loved the LORD, everyone already thought he was a weirdo anyway, but then he started building a boat. I told them that he was doing what God told him to do and prepare for the big flood. To which they responded, “What’s a flood?” They called him a fool and said that he was crazy. The worst was the women who would look at me as though they felt sorry for me for having a crazy husband. People started comparing him to the man on the corner of Lexington and Vine named Henson who would randomly shout things like, “Chickens only want to rule the world” and “Shoes make good earmuffs.”

You don’t believe me? Well, I was there!

It was so hard. I believed in Noah’s God and trusted that we were doing the right thing but it became so difficult to live my day-to-day life and still do as God asked. One day Henson yelled at me, “There goes the wife of the crazy man!”

Seriously?! Well, God told us what to do and we were gonna do it!

My three boys had an easier time of it but not by much. People looked at them and said horrible things about their father. It got to a point that we all just had to stop going to town. My sons helped their father and the girls (my daughters-in-law) and I started gathering plants. Suddenly, one day animals just started showing up. They would just come up to our home as if they were looking for something. When Noah and the boys finished the boat, the animals just walked inside and started making themselves at home. We gathered up all our stuff and the plants that we gathered and got on the boat. The door was so big and heavy that God, Himself, has to close it.  And He did.

Then the most amazing thing happened! Water! Water started falling from the sky!! Crazy, right? It started to rain so hard that the whole earth flooded and we on the boat were the only ones saved.

In the days leading up to the flood, people called us weirdoes. Crazy, even. But God had a plan. Being a weirdo, an outsider, is what saved our lives and thus saved all mankind. At first, I didn’t like being made fun of, or treated differently, or called a weirdo. Now, I wear the title with pride.

I’m Noah’s wife and I’m a weirdo.