Song: Shadows and Stains

shadows hide stains
like the stains on my soul from my sin
light shows stains
and makes me take notice

now i have a choice to make
stop the spillage or ignore the stain

your blood washes me clean
it's the light that knows where the spots are
your love's more than enough
to wash away the stains, and make me clean

the stains have disappeared
yet i keep soiling my soul
your blood is refreshes, renews
the old stains and the new

now i have a choice to make
stop the spillage or ignore the stain

your blood washes me clean
it's the light that knows where the spots are
your love's more than enough
to wash away the stains, and make me clean

another post from training

So, I'm sitting here drinking a chai tea latte from the Starbucks here in Prestonwood Baptist. Yup, IN Prestonwood.

So it's been a while since I've had a good fall. When I do fall I usually want someone else to share it with me (as on onlooker) if it is especially funny.  Well, I had a good one last night and my husband was watching the whole thing.  Donovan and Mark saw the after effects (mostly me laying on the floor not wanting to move yet surrounded by sweet tea because the cup broke). What had happened was that one of the employees had already mopped the floor with too much water. She did not use a "wet floor" sign. *cue Ryan impersonating the falling man on the sign* I hit that wet spot and one leg slid forward (which means I couldn't catch myself) and one leg slid backward meaning I hit the floor with all my abundant weight on my knee.  Then I pitched forward and slammed my elbow.  If my styrofoam cup had not broken open, I would have been able to save the tea because I did keep it upright.

Randy lay there like a slug.  It was his only defense.

That's what I did.  I didn't trust my knee to move.  It was throbbing and my ankle had a bit of a burning sensation going on.  That's when the laughing began.  I would have laughed too if I saw myself just chilling on the concrete floor with a pool of sweet tea around me.

When it was all over, Donovan told Curtis that if this had happened in Connecticut, I would shortly own that restaurant.

He's not wrong.

Training requires blogging

I'm sitting here in a CISM training which awesomely is worth 27 CEUs,which I need 24 by January. Anyway, I'm struggling to pay attention and have a good attitude about it.  For those of you have been reading my blogs for quite a while hopefully remember my complaints about my classes in seminary. I'm seem to be having some of the same issues, mostly with the stupid questions.  I mean, the man JUST explained that and all you've done is reword the statement that he JUST said in the form of a question!

What's also interesting is that the teacher keeps referring to me for some clarification because I'm the only licensed clinician in the room of over 35 people, including the teacher. Don't get me wrong, I am getting good information and dang stank it, I'm getting 27 CEUs.

I've got two more hours to go today, I've already been here yesterday from 8-6 and today live been here since 8. Tomorrow is the same thing.

On a completely different note, I had an attitude shift at my job where I've learned to just let things go. My boss ws driving me crazy and in turn I would border on being disrespectful. I was never outright rude but I would sometimes get short with him which is not a good thing. For a long while I was he only one running the office.  I was doing the job of two therapists and an office manager. I realized that if I was going to do my job or even get any help from my boss, I needed to stop fighting him. Well, I had my annual review a couple of days ago, and my boss gave me a great review. I'm even getting a raise, something Sundown never did.

In the frivolous category, I finally got some Ink Joy pens. Love, love, love!

I admit it, I'm mad!

I’m a bit ticked.  A couple of years ago, I was a volunteer with the youth group at Grace Fellowship and we had gone a mission trip to Connecticut.  It was incredible!  All those teenagers excited about telling people about Jesus were inspiring.  But today, I look at pictures from that mission trip and the subsequent years, and my heart breaks.  How can someone go from being excited about telling people about Jesus to posting on Facebook that believing is God is joke for the simple-minded.  I have seen some of the most offensive posts by kids who are responsible for bringing a number of individuals to the Kingdom.  And dang stank it, I am not being hypocritical in this! Yes, I post Bible verses, Christian song lyrics, and quotes by CS Lewis but nothing of what I put up says that you are an idiot and stupid for not believing the way I do.  Let me show you some of what I’m talking about.  I hesitate to do so because it just means that I’m circulating it but I feel as if I need to make myself clear as to how offensive this stuff is.  These are taken directly from the Facebook posts of kids who had previously been on fire for the Lord:

Which part of them is the fake part? What could they have possibly gained by pretending to love Jesus? I know what they gain by pretending to be anti-God.  But is that what is really happening?  I’d like to think that their faith was real and not just a show, but I can’t know for sure. Yeah, I’m ticked, but despite your anti-God rhetoric, I’m still gonna pray for you.  “They will know we are Christians by our love.”  Well, then, my prayers are gonna reflect that regardless of your directly offensive stance, I love you. 

Just got real

At this moment, I am riding in the truck on the way to the airport to see them off. I'm surprised by the lack of emotion I'm experiencing right now.

Eh. I'll crash later. Something to look forward to.

It's amazing that they fit most of their lives in four bags. They were very large bags but still, only four. I am very excited for them and their new adventure and I look forward to hearing all about it. You can check it out at darinandalexis.blogspot.com.

I love you guys and I'll catch you on the flip side.

Logic vs. Crazy

I’m usually a very logical person.  Yeah, I get emotional but even then I have logical permission to feel that way.  For example, when a moment of worship takes my breath away and I find tears streaming down my face, I find logic there, too.  I know my God is amazing and awesome (in the true sense of the word) so it’s natural for me to get caught up in Him.  Very logical.

However, lately, logic seems to depart at some odd times.  Unfortunately, those times have been increasing in frequency. I’ve been snappish and short-tempered.  God bless my husband because he has been the recipient of most of this.  He’s so awesome hat he mostly just goes with it.  What’s so frustrating is that I have a somewhat logical reason for my illogical behavior. That reason does not make it any less illogical.

The reason is simple: Darin and Alexis are leaving. No, they aren’t dying and there is Skype and Google+.  But I know that as bad as I am about keeping in touch with people (sorry, Liza), Darin is worse. And we’ll have an international time difference to contend with.  Hong Kong is on the other side of the world! Literally!

Before I continue, I feel like I need to say that I am so excited for them and their adventure.  I admit I am a bit jealous.  I would never dream of asking them not to go because this is an incredible opportunity for them and who am I to get in the way of God working in someone’s life.  So with that being said, I continue.

Darin hates it when people get emotional (he’s gonna hate this blog) so I’ve done my very best to disassociate my emotions when I’m around him. I know he’s upset about leaving me because he’s been picking on me quite more than usual.

I’m losing my two best friends.  Darin gets me like no one else does.  At the same time he knows exactly what will hurt me. Unless he’s in a bad mood, we always have fun together.  Usually laughing at someone else’s expense. I can be stupid around him but then have a theological discussion or an intellectual conversation about the human psyche. He was there when my heart was torn out by a church that I loved and encouraged me to not give up on ministry. He told Curtis’ friends to butt out otherwise they would scare Curtis off. He gets very angry when someone (other than him) makes me cry. He’s the one I sing best with. And I’ve had some phenomenal singing partners.

Alexis has this innate sense of what I’m feeling at any given moment. She sees when Darin might go too far with his teasing. She is also the best crafting partner. We figure out how to do things together and whenever I make something, she gets so excited about it, and vice versa.  She’s a much better artist than I could ever hope to be.  She “gave” me one of her paintings and I’m afraid I’ll start crying every time I see it.  It’s gonna look fantastic in my office with the green wall behind it.  Just sayin. Who else is gonna dance with a shower curtain and sing “I Know You?”

These are two of the people I love most in the world. I can live without my two best friends. I just don’t want to.

John Calvin needed a hug

Today was an interesting day.  I got a lot done in preparation for Mother’s Day.  My creativity has been running thin all day.  However, it’s been quite some time since I’ve posted here so I borrowed some of my past creativity. I've decided to reach back into the old archives.  I'm talking from the Diaryland archives.  I wrote this previous blog while trying to write a huge paper about John Calvin's view of the worth of God for worship.  After studying John Calvin for a while, I decided that I didn't care much for him as a person.

Anyway, here's the old blog.  I remembered it and laughed a lot.  Hope you enjoy.

Have you ever gone out to eat by yourself? I don't do it frequently but it happens. Like tonight, it happened. I had a craving for the rice noodles at Hunan. I was feeling a bit sorry for myself as it was, but that can be blamed on John Calvin, the unhuggable jerk.

So there I am with my sesame chicken, rice noodles, and a tall Dr Pepper, listening to the conversation of people around me. There was one couple who obviously had met in a bar.    Don't pretend that you don't know what I mean. There was another man who was sitting at his table alone. I'm sure the mullet had nothing to do with his solitude.

The table that piqued my interest was the table consisting of 3 men and 3 women. All of them were at least 60 years old. 2 of the women were wearing some really interesting wigs. They had a wide variety of topics to discuss. They went from Tom DeLay to the fact that tornado alley is shifting to taxes to something about smoke and mirrors (apparently the woman who said that comment is well acquainted with smoke and mirrors because they are in her bathroom as she's putting that wig on. these people aren't her friends otherwise they would tell her that it looks like she has off-ed a diabetic squirrel and then glued it to her scalp) and then finally the conversation moved to cats.

The other wig woman has a daughter that owns the land adjacent to hers. Her daughter wants to turn it into an animal shelter. She already has a few animals that were rescued and is now seeking sanctioning from the state. Some of these animals that are already there is a litter of kittens whose mother died just after they were born. The father is nowhere to be found, the deadbeat. Now, before you go, "Awwwwww," there is still another element to this story that has yet to be revealed. The mother had rabies while she was pregnant. Because of the rabies, these kittens all have brain damage.

You haven't lived until you've seen a 65 year old woman with a bad wig on doing an imitation of a retarded kitten trying to eat.