Allow me to
set the scene for you. At work we have what is called “The Unit.” It is a
mostly wooden building where we seclude the population of the community that is
considered unsafe. Usually what would land someone in The Unit are things like
aggression, continual breaking of male/female restriction, and causing physical
harm to others. The Unit, at this particular time had 5 guys in it. The
counseling staff and the other head honchos (including the one in charge of the
Unit) were assessing a few of the clients seeing if they needed to be admitted.
We had
decided that one needed to go thus taking the count to 6.
We had made
a decision that there was one more that needing to go so we brought him into
the conference room to discuss the matter. During the discussion, the head
honcho of The Unit gets an urgent phone call and she zooms, yes zooms, out of
the room. But not before she makes a page overhead for maintenance to go to The
Unit…STAT!
As we
continue our discussion with the client we are about to send, over the radio we
hear commotion. Yes, commotion.
Then we get
a phone call in the conference room from The Unit head honcho saying that we
can’t send anyone else to The Unit.
Ok, so we
send the client we were dealing with on his way with a stern talking to and an
understanding that he can’t mess up again.
Then the
head honcho shows up again.
Termites
have taken over The Unit and those that are currently in there need to be
moved.
How bad is
it? How can anybody tell?
Oh it’s bad,
they’ve come out of the walls and are covering the floor.
*deep
breath*
Now, I’m put
in a position where I have to decide if I want to be the good employee or the
passive one. I decide that I’ll be helpful. Another teammate and I decide to go
over to The Unit and help the staff transfer these clients to their new
location. I keep telling myself since they are still over there, it can’t
possibly be that bad.
That’s what
I get for thinking.
I walk into
The Unit and look to my right through the security window into the North Wing.
PAUSE
I’d like to
pause here for a moment and say that I realize in the past I have been known to
exaggerate slightly for the good of a story. I want to be perfectly clear here
when I say that there is NO exaggeration here. When it comes to bugs, I’m not
even the squeamish one. When my brother and I shared an apartment, I was the
spider killer. I feel like I need to explain that as I continue with my story.
RESUME
I look into
the North Wing to see bugs pouring over the floor and walls. Didn’t know
termites had wings until this very moment. What a joyous moment to learn that
lesson.
Rob and I
step into the dayroom of The Unit where only one door is separating us from the
North Wing. That door has a two inch gap along the bottom. Termites are
starting to pour into the day room as the six boys are pressed against the
south wall in preparation to for transition.
The head
honcho comes in and gives them a sweet speech about holding it together as we
transition them and that it won’t take long for them to fumigate The Unit
should it be necessary for one or more of them to come back. After that, they
were each given their flip flops one at a time.
It took
everything I had within me to stand there calmly and professionally while
hoards of bugs were swarming less than three feet away from me. Did I mention
that they fly? That means that some of them weren’t contained to the wall and
floor three feet away from me!!! Every fiber of my being wanted to scream and
run out of there in a panic stricken terror.
It’s the day
after and I’ve had two showers since then.
I still get
itchy just thinking about it.
I’m telling
you, the only reason why one of the plagues that God sent to pharaoh wasn’t
termites is simply because either there wasn’t enough wood or he didn’t want to
leave them homeless.
