"N" is for Nice Timing

Let me start off my sharing that I have a shoulder injury. No one really knows about it and you can’t tell by looking at me that I have the issue. It’s only noticeable when I’m trying to lift something over my head. Okay, backstory complete.

A couple of weeks ago, I was a part of a meeting with some other ministers and some representatives from an evangelism organization. I had met these representatives a week before when they had done a brief discussion about what they do. They had passed out some bracelets and bibles to the group. As we were about to start an evangelism series with our students at my church, I asked the guy where I could get more bracelets. He simply handed me a big bag of them and said, “Here’s your starter pack of bracelets.” I thought, “How cool is this?”

So, in this next meeting, they gave us a bit more about what they do in the communities that invite them. Afterwards when we were just sitting around the table chatting, the guy points at me and asks, “Aren’t you the one I gave a bunch of bracelets to?”

I nodded and said, “Why, yes I am and thank you so much for them. They are going to be very useful.”

He then asked, “Do you want a case of bibles?”

“Um, yeah!”

So, when the conversation ended, I walked with him to his car. He grabbed the box of almost 60 bibles and then walked me to my car. He loaded them into the back for me. I thanked him profusely and explained what we were going to use them for. He said that he was excited to give me these tools and couldn’t wait to hear how the training went.

He then started to walk away.

He stopped about 3 feet away and turned around. “Um, I have to ask. Is there something wrong with your shoulder?”

I was surprised by the question. I replied, “Um, yes. I can’t lift my arm up past my shoulder without help.”

He said, “Wow, I just felt the Holy Spirit wanting me to ask you that. Can I pray for you?”

“Of course, you can.”

He came over and put his hand on my shoulder and prayed for healing. When he was done, he asked me how it felt. I was able to lift my arm all the way up to press my arm against my ear. It was still sore but didn’t hurt as much. I told him so. I said thank you and he went on his way.

Now listen, guys, before you think I’m all crazy and stuff, let me explain something to you. My shoulder felt better for only about an hour and half. Today, as I write this, it hurts just as much as it did before he prayed. But that’s not what I’m concerned with. I grew up in the era of Jim Bakker and Benny Hinn and always just rolled my eyes. I believe that God can heal but I don’t think He’s gonna do it just to line the pockets of the healer. It would also be super easy for me to say that it just didn’t work because an hour and half later my shoulder pain was back. I could mark it as a hoax or my adrenaline tricking me.

I’m not doing that though. Instead, I think that guy did get a prompting from the Holy Spirit for realsies. What that tells me is that in that moment, the Holy Spirit was concerned with me.

The Holy Spirit was concerned with me.

I believe that the Holy Spirit was making itself known as being active in my life.

If the Holy Spirit can fix a shoulder for a little bit, then it’s going to be with me when I’m sharing Jesus with someone. 

It’s going to be with me when I’m scared because the power just went out due to a thunderstorm. 

It’s going to be with me when I’m joyful because I’m getting to spend some time with a friend I haven’t seen in a while.

Those couple of minutes with that guy demonstrated to me that the Holy Spirit is concerned with me and is as active in my life as I will let it be.

I am also confident in this: If the Holy Spirit is concerned with ME, of all people, then it is also concerned with YOU.

"M" is for miscarriage

Many of you already know that in June of last year, I miscarried my first child. It was right before we left for youth camp. That week at camp was one of the hardest weeks I’ve ever had to live through. On one hand, I was falling apart on the inside with heart breaking for myself and my husband. But on the other hand, I had to be the one in charge protecting our kids and being there for them in the spiritual and emotional questions. Blessedly, I had some of the greatest support in the other adult leaders from our church. I also had (have) some of the best kids around.

What hasn’t been announced to everyone is that last week, I miscarried my second child. That’s 2 in 9 months. My body is still working to repair itself and my emotions are still all over the place. Here’s the rub: I’m angry. I’m angry at God but I really don’t want to be. I know God loves me and I know He wants what’s best for me.

Yeah, yeah. I know all that. I can even understand why He might allow this happen to me because I’m not as faithful to God as I should be. But I’m not the only one hurting through this.

The core of anger comes from the fact that He’s allowing this to happen to my husband, the most wonderful man I know. My husband is amazingly faithful. He gets up early to read his bible and He is involved in so many ministries at church. He has even volunteered helping people do their taxes FOR FREE. He had to go through certification training and has given up much of his time with no compensation in return. All because he wants to help people and show them Jesus.

So why would God let this happen to him?!! Twice?!!!

I know. I know. There are at least 15 reasons why things happen the way they do.* And I will get over this eventually. Like I said, I don’t want to be mad at God. I want to be comforted by Him.

That’s what I find absolutely amazing in all of this. While I am still angry, He still comforts. He can comfort because I haven’t stopped talking to Him. If I keep that line of communication open, God will send me all the comfort and love I need.  

Despite my anger.

Despite my fear.

Despite my despair.

He is always there.

God is big enough to handle our anger and fear. He can handle it. It’s not always bad to be angry at God. We just can’t let that anger lead to the silent treatment. It’s the silent treatment that kills a relationship, not the anger. Admitting to God that I’m angry has allowed me to take His forgiveness and comfort. God is soothing my anger because I am listening to Him.

I’m still hurting, but He’s soothing that, too.

*Seriously, if you haven’t already read the book, you need to read “15 Reasons Why Things Happen” by Darril Deaton. Be sure to read the forward, too.

"L" is for Longitude and Latitude

In 1985, a woman named Julie Gold wrote a song called, “From a Distance.” This song was recorded by several artists but the most famous was the version recorded by Bette Midler. The song went on to get the Grammy for song of the year in 1991. Recently, the song popped up on my #TBT Spotify playlist. It really is a beautiful song and I was reminded once again of how talented Bette Midler is. Her voice is distinctive without being abrasive.

Anyway, as I listened to the song, I remember some of the “controversy” the song caused by using the phrase, “God is watching us from a distance.” Evangelicals got all up in arms saying that God is not just at a distance from us. Yes, He’s watching but He’s with us. They claimed that the song was perpetuating the hands-off approach of Godly rule. They claimed that it undermined the goal of personal relationship with Jesus.

Why do people have to make such a big deal out of things?

Is it possible that there are so many other things that are deserving of a stand over their interpretation of this song?

Let me give you a different perspective of the song. Being a Christian most of life and being involved in the treating of addictions, I have heard the Lord’s Prayer SO MANY TIMES. I also have several family members that are Catholic so, of course, every wedding and funeral has multiple recitations of it, though they don’t finish it. I mean, come on, “Thine is the power and the glory forever and ever,” is kind of an important point.

Anyway, with that being said, it seems to me that From a Distance just seems to echo the sentiment at the beginning of the Lord’s Prayer that says, “Our Father, who art in heaven.” That seems like quite a distance to me. But is it?

I’ve had the tremendous privilege to have Darril Deaton as my pastor for many, many years. Whenever speaking about the Lord’s Prayer, he states that the statement, “Our Father, who art in heaven…” is not about location, it is about position. I don’t mean position in the cosmos or the latitude and longitude of our position. No, I mean position as in the role we play: our role as human as opposed to the role of God. We, humans, can’t be in heaven right now, but God can. In fact, wherever God is, is heaven.* We don’t make a location heaven just by our very presence. We can’t. But God can because of who He is. So, my thinking is, when it comes to the song, that yes, God is watching us from a distance—the distance between Creator and creation.

The distance between Physician and patient.

The distance between Father and child.

The distance between Savior and saved.

Ok, ok, I know the song is filled with imagery that is focused on location-type distance, but I challenge you to read the lyrics from the perspective of relational distance. For example, take the lyric, “From a distance you look like my friend even though we are at war.” If you can distance yourself from the conflict and just look at the person, do they not look like your friend? If you distance yourself from the arguments and differences could we not do as the scripture says in Romans 12:18, “If it is possible, as far as it depends on you, live at peace with everyone?”

Oh man, now Wind Beneath Wings has just come up in my #TBT playlist. I think Bette Midler had a thing for eagles.

* That’s biblical. I’m not just making it up. Read “Heaven” by Randy Alcorn, if you doubt me.