I guess I can start at the beginning of the year and go from there:
Surgery
On January 9th I had some surgery. No big deal. It wasn't a life threatening thing except that the reason I was getting it was to help me breathe. So, about 6 months ago I had gone to get my wisdom teeth out. Unfortunately when they gave me the sleepy juice, I stopped breathing.
No biggie.
They stopped the extraction and the oral surgeon told me that my tonsils were so huge that I needed to see about getting them out because they would be huge contributing factor to my sleep apnea. If I didn't then I was going to have to get my wisdom teeth out in a hospital under anesthesia.
Awesome.
So I went to a recommended ENT and he basically told me that my tonsils weren't really a problem that is was just because I was fat. Such lovely words to hear. So I called the oral surgeon back and left a message with his nurse about what the ENT had said. That surgeon called me himself at 7:00 at night to tell me to get a second opinion. He remembered me specifically because in his entire career he has only had to stop surgery about 3 times for tonsils.
And I overachieve yet again.
So I went to a new ENT and he said that sure being overweight can effect it but that sleep apnea is on the rise most in medium sized women (I am most definitely NOT medium sized). He told me that there was more to it than just my tonsils. Apparently my right nostril was completely blocked due to a deviated septum. I never really noticed, well, I did after he said that! He also said that my throat was never narrow and that I had a small mouth (just so you know, this is the second doctor I have had tell me that I have a small mouth. I even got it in writing this time).
So, here's the list of things I had done, by two different doctors on January 9th:
3 wisdom teeth extractions (should have been four but my big tongue got in the way)
tonsillectomy
septoplasty
uvulopalatopharyngoplasty
Yay me!
Two weeks after my surgery I got an upper respiratory infection. Yeah, you try hacking up a bunch of stuff when you've just had throat surgery.
I have a sleep study coming up to tell me how my sleep apnea is now that I have a bigger airway.
Blood Clot
Now this story is stupid. I had a painful knot on my leg. I went to the doctor and he gave me a bunch of antibiotics in case it was staph. He also said that if it gets worse to come back because it could be a blood clot.
It got worse.
I went back and the doctor said that I needed to go to the ER right away and that he even recommended that I get a ride in an ambulance from the office. I refused and my husband drove me.
ER personnel saw that I had a blood clot in a superficial vein that told me that I MUST go see a vascular surgeon the very next day to get the clot removed. They also gave me morphine for pain. Me no likey.
So I went the next day to a vascular surgeon and he said that it was no big deal. He said to keep it elevated for a few days with a heating pad on it.
It got better.
Loss
My buddy Nathan passed away on February 25th. I hadn't spent a whole lot of time with Nathan while he was alive but enough to be crushed by his passing. Of course my emotions paled in comparison to his family's. Nathan is my best friend's brother. My favorite moment with Nathan happened the first time I met him. I was hanging out with Carr!e, Nathan, and their parents. Carol (mom) was showing off her archery skills. I tried but I couldn't even pull the bow all the way back. Carr!e was taking pictures, like ya do. I went to go sit by Nathan on the bench. He was digging watching nature and his family playing. Of course, it's not like they sat him on the bench and then ignored him. No, he was very much a part of the proceedings. I was chatting with him and then he began to stare at me very intently. Then he reached out and grabbed my face. At that exact moment, Carr!e had turned to take a candid picture of us on the bench. She captured that moment with Nathan grabbing my face and me laughing in surprise.
I got to spend some more times with Nathan when Carr!e and I would be visiting her parents and Nathan would be as well. He seemed to like me (unlike his feelings for Jeremy) and like him, too.
Family
I miss my brother. I miss my sister. It's been almost a year since I've seen them and that seems unreal to me. I am so proud of what they are doing in Hong Kong but my pride is tempered by my jealousy. What they are doing is something I have always wanted to do. But God does not have the calling for me right now. I need to bloom where I am planted and wait for when/if God wants me to move.
But that's not the hardest part of this. The hardest part is being so happy for them but wanting so badly for them to be home. But here is not home anymore.
Ok, I gotta move on because it isn't socially acceptable to be crying at work.
Future
I don't know, yet. We'll just have to see.
In Conclusion
I will be making no promises to do better at this blogging thing. I can just say that I will try. Even when all I'm writing about is nonsense, it is still very therapeutic for me. Sorry if this one just seems a bit whiny. I'm in an emotional phase right now.
It'll pass.
Soon.
I hope.
