Weirdo Series: A Harlot

Things have been quite interesting for me. I'm still trying to make sense of it. A whole city fell down around me!! I knew it was going to happen but that doesn't make the experience anymore incredible when it happens. *sigh* Let me start from the beginning.

I lived in Jericho. I had a good job. Well, I had to work most nights but I got paid well. I hated my job, it was very degrading. I won't really get into what I actually did for a living but let me put it this way: the women in the neighborhood would call their children to them when I walked by. I was a bit of an outcast.  Since what I did wasn't glamorous job, I lived in a questionable neighborhood on the city wall.

My job took me throughout the city and I interacted with some very influential people. I heard most of the news of what was going on in and out of Jericho. I heard about the Red Sea crying up so the Israelites could cross and escape the Egyptians. I also heard about how two kings of big kingdoms had been defeated. Wait. Not just defeated, completely destroyed. None of the gods my countrymen worshiped were half as mighty.

Or reliable.

I didn't know much about Him, but I was sure that this was a god that I wanted to know more about. And even better yet, to serve. What a mighty God indeed.

One day, as I was working in my garden, I saw two men walking down the alleyway. They obviously did not belong in our city and I knew the city guard would be coming soon. I brought them into my home and hid them upstairs under some piles of flax I had on the roof drying so I could make linen. Apparently, somebody else saw the men and saw them in my yard and told on me. The city guard paid me a visit telling me to bring the men out. I knew that denying it would just get me thrown in jail. Jericho jails were not known for their luxury. So I told them that, yes, the men came to my house but that they had left and had already gone out the city gates. I told the guard that if they hurried they might be able to catch them.

The timing was perfect. The guards left the city and started searching and as soon as they had left, the city gates were shut so they could not come back in until morning.

I knew that these men were here to scout out our city in preparation for battle. I also knew that they would win. So did everyone else in the city. Everyone in town was freaking out and started to just accept whatever defeat would be coming. My people are a proud people and it was weird to see them lose heart like that. Whatever God these Israelites worshiped was truly mighty.

Before they fell asleep, I went to talk to the men. I told them the attitude of the men of the city including how upset they were about everything they have heard. I also told them how I respected and revered the LORD. I asked them if they could spare my life and the lives of my family when they destroyed the city.

These men spoke plainly to me. They said that if I didn't tell anybody of their plan or presence that they would surely save me. They told me to gather my family at my house and that if any of them were not in my house, they would die. They told me to hang a scarlet rope out of my window so the Israelites would know to protect us.

I gave my word.

I also told them what I told the guards and then suggested that they leave the city and wait until the guards came back before returning to their tribes. I lowered them out of my window which was on the wall. They made it out safely.

I did exactly what I said I would do. I gathered my family and hung a red rope out my window. Then I saw an army just walking around our city. They weren't trying to raze the walls or knock down the gates. They just walked with trumpets blowing. They did this for 6 days and then on the 7th, they just kept walking. I saw them walk by my window 7 times. After the 7th time, I heard a man talking to the people. I'm not quite sure what he said but I swear I heard my name. Then all of a sudden they all starting shouting. 

It was so loud! But it was nothing compared to the sound of the walls falling. FALLING! Those walls were so strong. No army had every conquered those walls and now they were falling. Half of my house was gone!

But all of us were safe. Somehow, with all the rubble and the crashing and the horrible noises, we were all safe! What a might God indeed.

Eventually, the two men that I had hid came and took my family and myself out of the city. Nothing stood. Everything was destroyed. What a mighty God indeed!

After that day, I stayed with the Israelites until my dying day. They became my people and their God became my God. I met a man named Salmon who was the son of the tribal leader of Judah. We got married and had kids. I am actually the great-great grandmother to King David.

That's right! THE King David! Eventually, the Savior of mankind would come from my line. The line of a harlot. 

What a mighty God indeed.

Weirdo Series: Noah's Wife

Currently in our youth group at Grace Fellowship, they are doing a series called, "Making the Bible Come Alive." Various adults have been portraying different characters in the Bible such as Ruth, Naomi, Mary Magdalene, Michael (the angel), and Peter. I volunteered to portray a character and doing so prompted an idea for me to write a series of "monologues" from the perspective of an Outsider. Below is part 1 of the Weirdo Series.

weird•o

ˈwi(ə)rdō/

Noun informal

1. a person whose behavior seems strange or eccentric.

2. an Outsider

I know you guys had been starving for rain but that you’ve been getting some good rain recently. Just imagine something with me. Imagine if it had never rained. Ever. Yeah. You don’t think people could survive like that? Well, let me tell you something, I was there. It wasn’t until I was old with grown children of my own that I had ever seen rain. Here let me tell you how it happened:

My name is…well, my name isn’t important…but you might recognize my husband’s name, Noah. When my husband was born his father said, “This one will bring us relief from the agonizing labor of our hands, caused by the ground the LORD has cursed.” Can you even imagine such a prophecy? If I had known that Lamech, that was my father-in-law, had said that about Noah, I might not have married him. That’s a lot of responsibility that I may not have wanted to be a part of. Little did I know.

One day, my husband comes to me and says that God had spoken to him. He said that God told him that He was going to destroy every creature on the earth because of their wickedness. What?! I thought that Noah was a good man and that all that praying and singing and stuff was what God wanted. I started to have a bit of a panic attack.

Well, as I was breathing into a little leather sack, Noah told me that God also commanded him to build a big ol’ boat because He was going to save our family. To which I responded, “What’s a boat?” Then Noah said that it was going to rain. To which I responded, “What’s rain?” Then Noah said that God was going to use the rain to flood the earth. To which I responded, “What’s a flood?” Noah explained that God made a covenant with him that He would save our family and a bunch of animals and plants…and only us.

Well, I knew better than to argue with God but I got a little nervous when I thought about how this was going to look to the neighbors. When I said a big ‘ol boat, I wasn’t kidding. Imagine this room times 12, and then a little more! That’s how long the boat was. Now take this room times 3, that’s how wide the boat was. And, and it was 3 stories high!!! This was not just some project boat in the backyard or basement that could be easily hidden under a tarp. No, this massive thing was out there in the open for everyone to see!! And everyone did see.

It became difficult to go to the grocery store or the fabric store because people would whisper about me as I passed. The braver ones would ask me questions which I could not answer. And people would make fun of Noah and what he was doing. Since He loved the LORD, everyone already thought he was a weirdo anyway, but then he started building a boat. I told them that he was doing what God told him to do and prepare for the big flood. To which they responded, “What’s a flood?” They called him a fool and said that he was crazy. The worst was the women who would look at me as though they felt sorry for me for having a crazy husband. People started comparing him to the man on the corner of Lexington and Vine named Henson who would randomly shout things like, “Chickens only want to rule the world” and “Shoes make good earmuffs.”

You don’t believe me? Well, I was there!

It was so hard. I believed in Noah’s God and trusted that we were doing the right thing but it became so difficult to live my day-to-day life and still do as God asked. One day Henson yelled at me, “There goes the wife of the crazy man!”

Seriously?! Well, God told us what to do and we were gonna do it!

My three boys had an easier time of it but not by much. People looked at them and said horrible things about their father. It got to a point that we all just had to stop going to town. My sons helped their father and the girls (my daughters-in-law) and I started gathering plants. Suddenly, one day animals just started showing up. They would just come up to our home as if they were looking for something. When Noah and the boys finished the boat, the animals just walked inside and started making themselves at home. We gathered up all our stuff and the plants that we gathered and got on the boat. The door was so big and heavy that God, Himself, has to close it.  And He did.

Then the most amazing thing happened! Water! Water started falling from the sky!! Crazy, right? It started to rain so hard that the whole earth flooded and we on the boat were the only ones saved.

In the days leading up to the flood, people called us weirdoes. Crazy, even. But God had a plan. Being a weirdo, an outsider, is what saved our lives and thus saved all mankind. At first, I didn’t like being made fun of, or treated differently, or called a weirdo. Now, I wear the title with pride.

I’m Noah’s wife and I’m a weirdo.