Friday, September 14, 2012

A New Friday Five: Strong

Who is physically the strongest person you know?
Donovan Craft. The man can rip a telephone book in half. I've seen it.


What unpleasantly strong aroma have you recently experienced?
I could say something crude like farts or bathrooms but I'm not going to go for the easy answer. There was a certain man that had come up to Curtis and I as we were going to our car after dinner in Deep Ellum. On the way in, Curtis had given about $4 to another man. This second man was particularly hard up and was asking for money for the bus so he could get back to his shelter. Curtis gave him some money (I very rarely have cash) and gave him another little gift which prompted him to hug me. The aroma that hit my nose (that I had faintly picked up when he was 4 paces away from me) was enough to cause my eyes to tear up.


Many over-the-counter medications come in “extra strength” varieties. What’s something in your life that doesn’t but should?
Memory aides. Ginko biloba and all those other memory boosters never did anything for me. It would have been very helpful in college as I was trying to remember all that stuff and even now as I have conversations with my husband or counsel people and have to document it later. I'm a list maker. If I write it down then I'll remember. If I don't, then it's a crap shoot.


When times are rough, what’s most effective at boosting your inner strength?
Besides the obvious spiritual things (going to church, reading my Bible, prayer, all of which work for me, by the way), I would have to say spending quality time with my family. Curtis and I just recently finished a project together. We put together one of the hardest puzzles, ever, and then framed it and hung it up. Playing Phase 10 with my family or Cranium. Magic tricks with my brother and crafting with my sister (in-law). These are the things that boost my inner strength. Of course, spending quality time with my Lord and Savior is number one. Yep, I still went for the obvious spiritual thing.


What’s your favorite song whose title or lyrics contains the word strong?
Right now my brain is having a sneeze trying to think of songs with the word strong in it. Of course, I immediately go to Kelly Clarkson but I wouldn't say that's my favorite song. So, then I remembered a song I heard recently and though I can't say it's my favorite, I can say that it's my favorite that I can remember right now. Matthew West wrote a song called Strong Enough. Here's my favorite part:


I know I'm not strong enough to be
I know I'm not strong enough to be
everything that I'm supposed to be
I give up
I'm not strong enough
Hands of mercy won't you cover me
Lord right now I'm asking you to be
Strong enough
Strong enough
For the both of us

Friday, August 24, 2012

Song: Shadows and Stains

shadows hide stains
like the stains on my soul from my sin
light shows stains
and makes me take notice

now i have a choice to make
stop the spillage or ignore the stain

your blood washes me clean
it's the light that knows where the spots are
your love's more than enough
to wash away the stains, and make me clean

the stains have disappeared
yet i keep soiling my soul
your blood is refreshes, renews
the old stains and the new

now i have a choice to make
stop the spillage or ignore the stain

your blood washes me clean
it's the light that knows where the spots are
your love's more than enough
to wash away the stains, and make me clean

another post from training

So, I'm sitting here drinking a chai tea latte from the Starbucks here in Prestonwood Baptist. Yup, IN Prestonwood.

So it's been a while since I've had a good fall. When I do fall I usually want someone else to share it with me (as on onlooker) if it is especially funny.  Well, I had a good one last night and my husband was watching the whole thing.  Donovan and Mark saw the after effects (mostly me laying on the floor not wanting to move yet surrounded by sweet tea because the cup broke). What had happened was that one of the employees had already mopped the floor with too much water. She did not use a "wet floor" sign. *cue Ryan impersonating the falling man on the sign* I hit that wet spot and one leg slid forward (which means I couldn't catch myself) and one leg slid backward meaning I hit the floor with all my abundant weight on my knee.  Then I pitched forward and slammed my elbow.  If my styrofoam cup had not broken open, I would have been able to save the tea because I did keep it upright.

Randy lay there like a slug.  It was his only defense.

That's what I did.  I didn't trust my knee to move.  It was throbbing and my ankle had a bit of a burning sensation going on.  That's when the laughing began.  I would have laughed too if I saw myself just chilling on the concrete floor with a pool of sweet tea around me.

When it was all over, Donovan told Curtis that if this had happened in Connecticut, I would shortly own that restaurant.

He's not wrong.

Thursday, August 23, 2012

Training requires blogging

I'm sitting here in a CISM training which awesomely is worth 27 CEUs,which I need 24 by January. Anyway, I'm struggling to pay attention and have a good attitude about it.  For those of you have been reading my blogs for quite a while hopefully remember my complaints about my classes in seminary. I'm seem to be having some of the same issues, mostly with the stupid questions.  I mean, the man JUST explained that and all you've done is reword the statement that he JUST said in the form of a question!

What's also interesting is that the teacher keeps referring to me for some clarification because I'm the only licensed clinician in the room of over 35 people, including the teacher. Don't get me wrong, I am getting good information and dang stank it, I'm getting 27 CEUs.

I've got two more hours to go today, I've already been here yesterday from 8-6 and today live been here since 8. Tomorrow is the same thing.

On a completely different note, I had an attitude shift at my job where I've learned to just let things go. My boss ws driving me crazy and in turn I would border on being disrespectful. I was never outright rude but I would sometimes get short with him which is not a good thing. For a long while I was he only one running the office.  I was doing the job of two therapists and an office manager. I realized that if I was going to do my job or even get any help from my boss, I needed to stop fighting him. Well, I had my annual review a couple of days ago, and my boss gave me a great review. I'm even getting a raise, something Sundown never did.

In the frivolous category, I finally got some Ink Joy pens. Love, love, love!



Friday, August 17, 2012

I admit it, I'm mad!


I’m a bit ticked.  A couple of years ago, I was a volunteer with the youth group at Grace Fellowship and we had gone a mission trip to Connecticut.  It was incredible!  All those teenagers excited about telling people about Jesus were inspiring.  But today, I look at pictures from that mission trip and the subsequent years, and my heart breaks.  How can someone go from being excited about telling people about Jesus to posting on Facebook that believing is God is joke for the simple-minded.  I have seen some of the most offensive posts by kids who are responsible for bringing a number of individuals to the Kingdom.  And dang stank it, I am not being hypocritical in this! Yes, I post Bible verses, Christian song lyrics, and quotes by CS Lewis but nothing of what I put up says that you are an idiot and stupid for not believing the way I do.  Let me show you some of what I’m talking about.  I hesitate to do so because it just means that I’m circulating it but I feel as if I need to make myself clear as to how offensive this stuff is.  These are taken directly from the Facebook posts of kids who had previously been on fire for the Lord:







Which part of them is the fake part? What could they have possibly gained by pretending to love Jesus? I know what they gain by pretending to be anti-God.  But is that what is really happening?  I’d like to think that their faith was real and not just a show, but I can’t know for sure. Yeah, I’m ticked, but despite your anti-God rhetoric, I’m still gonna pray for you.  “They will know we are Christians by our love.”  Well, then, my prayers are gonna reflect that regardless of your directly offensive stance, I love you. 

Saturday, July 28, 2012

Just got real


At this moment, I am riding in the truck on the way to the airport to see them off. I'm surprised by the lack of emotion I'm experiencing right now.
Eh. I'll crash later. Something to look forward to.
It's amazing that they fit most of their lives in four bags. They were very large bags but still, only four. I am very excited for them and their new adventure and I look forward to hearing all about it. You can check it out at darinandalexis.blogspot.com.
I love you guys and I'll catch you on the flip side.

Thursday, July 26, 2012

Logic vs. Crazy


I’m usually a very logical person.  Yeah, I get emotional but even then I have logical permission to feel that way.  For example, when a moment of worship takes my breath away and I find tears streaming down my face, I find logic there, too.  I know my God is amazing and awesome (in the true sense of the word) so it’s natural for me to get caught up in Him.  Very logical.

However, lately, logic seems to depart at some odd times.  Unfortunately, those times have been increasing in frequency. I’ve been snappish and short-tempered.  God bless my husband because he has been the recipient of most of this.  He’s so awesome hat he mostly just goes with it.  What’s so frustrating is that I have a somewhat logical reason for my illogical behavior. That reason does not make it any less illogical.

The reason is simple: Darin and Alexis are leaving. No, they aren’t dying and there is Skype and Google+.  But I know that as bad as I am about keeping in touch with people (sorry, Liza), Darin is worse. And we’ll have an international time difference to contend with.  Hong Kong is on the other side of the world! Literally!

Before I continue, I feel like I need to say that I am so excited for them and their adventure.  I admit I am a bit jealous.  I would never dream of asking them not to go because this is an incredible opportunity for them and who am I to get in the way of God working in someone’s life.  So with that being said, I continue.

Darin hates it when people get emotional (he’s gonna hate this blog) so I’ve done my very best to disassociate my emotions when I’m around him. I know he’s upset about leaving me because he’s been picking on me quite more than usual.

I’m losing my two best friends.  Darin gets me like no one else does.  At the same time he knows exactly what will hurt me. Unless he’s in a bad mood, we always have fun together.  Usually laughing at someone else’s expense. I can be stupid around him but then have a theological discussion or an intellectual conversation about the human psyche. He was there when my heart was torn out by a church that I loved and encouraged me to not give up on ministry. He told Curtis’ friends to butt out otherwise they would scare Curtis off. He gets very angry when someone (other than him) makes me cry. He’s the one I sing best with. And I’ve had some phenomenal singing partners.

Alexis has this innate sense of what I’m feeling at any given moment. She sees when Darin might go too far with his teasing. She is also the best crafting partner. We figure out how to do things together and whenever I make something, she gets so excited about it, and vice versa.  She’s a much better artist than I could ever hope to be.  She “gave” me one of her paintings and I’m afraid I’ll start crying every time I see it.  It’s gonna look fantastic in my office with the green wall behind it.  Just sayin. Who else is gonna dance with a shower curtain and sing “I Know You?”

These are two of the people I love most in the world. I can live without my two best friends. I just don’t want to.

Saturday, May 12, 2012

John Calvin needed a hug


Today was an interesting day.  I got a lot done in preparation for Mother’s Day.  My creativity has been running thin all day.  However, it’s been quite some time since I’ve posted here so I borrowed some of my past creativity. I've decided to reach back into the old archives.  I'm talking from the Diaryland archives.  I wrote this previous blog while trying to write a huge paper about John Calvin's view of the worth of God for worship.  After studying John Calvin for a while, I decided that I didn't care much for him as a person.

Anyway, here's the old blog.  I remembered it and laughed a lot.  Hope you enjoy.

Have you ever gone out to eat by yourself? I don't do it frequently but it happens. Like tonight, it happened. I had a craving for the rice noodles at Hunan. I was feeling a bit sorry for myself as it was, but that can be blamed on John Calvin, the unhuggable jerk.

So there I am with my sesame chicken, rice noodles, and a tall Dr Pepper, listening to the conversation of people around me. There was one couple who obviously had met in a bar.    Don't pretend that you don't know what I mean. There was another man who was sitting at his table alone. I'm sure the mullet had nothing to do with his solitude.

The table that piqued my interest was the table consisting of 3 men and 3 women. All of them were at least 60 years old. 2 of the women were wearing some really interesting wigs. They had a wide variety of topics to discuss. They went from Tom DeLay to the fact that tornado alley is shifting to taxes to something about smoke and mirrors (apparently the woman who said that comment is well acquainted with smoke and mirrors because they are in her bathroom as she's putting that wig on. these people aren't her friends otherwise they would tell her that it looks like she has off-ed a diabetic squirrel and then glued it to her scalp) and then finally the conversation moved to cats.

The other wig woman has a daughter that owns the land adjacent to hers. Her daughter wants to turn it into an animal shelter. She already has a few animals that were rescued and is now seeking sanctioning from the state. Some of these animals that are already there is a litter of kittens whose mother died just after they were born. The father is nowhere to be found, the deadbeat. Now, before you go, "Awwwwww," there is still another element to this story that has yet to be revealed. The mother had rabies while she was pregnant. Because of the rabies, these kittens all have brain damage.

You haven't lived until you've seen a 65 year old woman with a bad wig on doing an imitation of a retarded kitten trying to eat.

Monday, April 23, 2012

What goes around…


So here's a story:

In 1986, Mikele Mebembe was on holiday in Kenya after graduating from Northwestern University.

On a hike through the bush, he came across a young bull elephant standing with one leg raised in the air. The elephant seemed distressed, so Mikele approached it very carefully.

He got down on one knee and inspected the elephant's foot and found a large piece of wood deeply embedded in it. As carefully and as gently as he could, Mikele worked the wood out with his hunting knife, after which the elephant gingerly put down its foot. The elephant turned to face the man, and with a rather curious look on its face, stared at him for several tense moments. Mikele stood frozen, thinking of nothing else but being trampled. Eventually the elephant trumpeted loudly, turned, and walked away.. Mikele never forgot that elephant or the events of that day.

Twenty years later, Mikele was walking through the Chicago Zoo with his teenaged son. As they approached the elephant enclosure, one of the creatures turned and walked over to near where Mikele and his son Tapu were standing. The large bull elephant stared at Mikele, lifted its front foot off the ground, then put it down. The elephant did that several times then trumpeted loudly, all the while staring at the man.

Remembering the encounter in 1986, Mikele couldn't help wondering if this was the same elephant. Mikele summoned up his courage, climbed over the railing and made his way into the enclosure. He walked right up to the elephant and stared back in wonder. The elephant trumpeted again, wrapped its trunk around one of Mikele's legs.....and slammed him against the railing, killing him instantly. Probably wasn't the same elephant.

Wednesday, April 18, 2012

42


Today is my parents’ 42nd anniversary.  I sent them both a text this morning saying, “Happy Anniversary!!  42 years is a loooooong time.”  My mom wrote me back and said, “Not for us.”  Not gonna lie, I started to tear up.  Then my dad responded by texting both of us with a message meant for my mother, “42 years is a long time to love somebody.  But you made it easy.”  I believe a tear actually escaped to make its way down my face.

Most of the people I have continual contact with do not have the kind of parents that are still so in love with each other.  Every time at this time of year I find myself dwelling on how grateful I am for the parents I have.  When I was in kindergarten, I met Victoria.  I had asked her to spend the night one weekend and she said that she couldn't because she had to go to her dad’s.  I was so confused.  Victoria was the first person I had heard about with parents that were divorced.  I went home and asked my mother what divorce meant.  My mom explained it to me as only she could.  My mom was awesome about being truthful and accurate in her descriptions without overwhelming my young mold-able mind. (the way she taught me about what sex was is another brilliant example.  But that’s a blog for another day)  Now that I knew what divorce was, I got a little nervous.  I asked her this, “Will you and daddy get divorced?”  How awesome is it that my mother was so confident in her God-centered relationship with my father to answer this way: “No, Denise, I can promise you that we will never get divorced.”  My parents never made promises that they weren't sure they could keep.  Wow.

My parents never fought in front of my brother and me until we were old enough to not get scared by it.  I knew they disagreed about things but they always had their “discussions” not in front of us.  This presented a united front.  We knew they disagreed but we always knew that they were together.  Always.

Last week in my dad’s sermon he used the example of their relationship to make a point.  He was talking about how Christian’s can often mistreat each other, therefore mistreating the bride of Christ.  He said, “If you want to make me mad, all you have to do is mistreat my wife.”  He has used that example multiple times.  Each time, my mom gets a little smile on her face.  It’s the sweetest thing.

I could go on and on but I gotta save some for the 43rd anniversary.

Tuesday, April 17, 2012

This could explain a lot


I’ve decided to resurrect an old idea for a blog.  It’s the 25 Random Things blog.  I liked doing it and maybe, just maybe, you’ll like reading it.  So here it is!!!  25 Random Things about Denise!

1. In high school my “In 20 years” said that in 20 years I would be the CEO of Dr Pepper.

2. I have really, really short toes.  I think they are adorable but my brother makes fun of them, loudly so that others find them humorous too.

3. I don’t like beaches. Well, really, I don’t like wet sand on me. Dry sand is ok.

4. I don’t like being dirty, which would explain why I don’t like beaches.

5. I want to be able to draw and sometimes I think I can.  Then I actually try and that idea is shot down.

6. I want to be a professional singer.

7. I wish I had put more effort into school.  High school, College and Grad School.  I feel like I’ve missed out on a lot of knowledge because I just wanted to breeze by.

8. I have a personal rule of not shaking hands with anyone wearing a rubber glove.

9. I have an unhealthy crush on Sean Connery.

10. I want to go skydiving.

11. I love cheese and gravy.  I believe that every food dish, no matter how bad, can be improved with cheese or gravy.  If there was a cheesy gravy, we could rule the world.

12. Believe it or not, I am a good cook.  I even won a Chili Cook-Off.

13. I like to blog.  I haven’t done so in quite some time because I like to think about it for a while.  I actually have one ruminating.  Actually, now that I think more about it, I have about three rumbling around.

14. I collect Cabbage Patch Kids. Haven’t gotten one in a while though.

15. I had lice, like, 7 times when I was in the fifth grade.  My best friend Sheena had it and kept giving it to me.  You see, when her mom would wash her hair with the special shampoo, she wouldn’t wash her sheets and pillowcases so she never really got rid of it.  My mother, however, went through my long, thick, curly hair with that stupid tiny comb and washed everything in the house that my head may have touched.  After a while she got kinda sick of it and said that I couldn’t be friends with Sheena until her mom got rid of her lice for real.

16. I didn’t think Madagascar was a good enough movie to warrant a sequel much less a third AND a Christmas special.

17. I hate to admit it but I kinda like Labyrinth.

18. I want to be a writer.

19. I wonder where the heck did Planter’s Cheez Balls go.  I know that there are other kinds out there but Planter’s had the best.

20. I used to throw up a lot as a kid.  It was because of my migraines.  I actually wanted to throw up because afterwards I felt better and the headache went away long enough for me to fall asleep.  Because of that I became very aware of the stages of throwing up.  Now, when I throw up little blood capillaries burst all over my face, including on my eyelids.  It’s very strange looking.

21. Daisies are my favorite flower.  I believe some of that to be attributed to the part in You’ve Got Mail when Tom Hanks brings Meg Ryan flowers when she’s sick.

22. I have the best sister-in-law ever.  You may think that your sister-in-law is the best, but mine really is.  I don’t care what you say.

23. I wish I lived on a cruise ship.  Not as an employee.

24. I am willing to go anywhere and do anything as long as I know that God wants me there. How will I know if I should go somewhere, if my husband wants to go there too.

25. I’m amazed by foreigners who are able to do a completely flawless American accent, like Hugh Laurie and the two lead characters on Fringe.

Monday, April 2, 2012

What is my density, I mean destiny?


Written on 3/31/2012 whilst at a women’s conference in Plano, TX



All these speakers kept talking about a calling and who feels stuck.  They are talking about me.  I have a calling but I’m stuck.  I see people all around me fulfilling their destiny but I don’t know what mine is.

I’ll admit, I wasn’t too excited about this weekend.  You know, another women’s conference where I’ve heard it all before.  However, from the first speaker, my heart became soft.  She said, “There might be a dream that you have to go back to.”  I’ve had so many dreams throughout my life but only one of them has been fulfilled: a husband who loves Jesus more than he loves me.  So what other dream am I supposed to return to?  A teacher? A singer? An actress? A missionary? A speaker?  I know the ballerina ship sailed when my love affair with Little Debbie Snacks started.

I’m in a bit of turmoil.  One thing I know is that I need to go back to the place where I was certain God was working.  I don’t know how God is going to get me where He wants me but I’m becoming willing to do and go whatever and wherever He wants me to.

However, I must steal a sentiment from my brother:  God, whatever You want me to do, please, please tell my husband.

Jesus is better.

Friday, March 23, 2012

Friday Five



I don't mean to only post on Fridays but it somehow happens.  I want to write about my brother and sister-in-law but that will have to wait until I'm by myself or when I don't have to immediately come in contact with people.  So here we go, another Friday five:

1. If you were free to just hop in the car and drive, where would you go? Or, if you could hop a plane and go anywhere, where?
Ireland (Scotland) or Israel.  Since my ethnic heritage is centered around Scot-Irishness, I'd love to see those beautiful countries.  Plus, I'm not built for hot weather and most of the pictures that I see of people in Ireland or Scotland are people in sweaters.  Perfect!!!

2. What's your most recently read favorite book?
Oh, this is hard because I actually read multiple books at the same time.  Currently, I'm reading A Clash of Kings and A Light Unto My Path from the Refiner's Fire series.  I love the Refiner's Fire series so it could be that.  Wait!!!  I recently reread one of my favorite books from when I was in junior high, The Last Silk Dress by Ann Rinaldi.

3. What's your favorite Spring Break memory?
When in college, every spring break the Concert Choir would go on tour.  I have a lot of fun memories from those escapades.  However, probably my favorite spring break memory is from my senior year in high school when the choir went to Disney World.  Good times.  Good times.

4. What do you put in your child's Easter basket? Or, for those w/o kids, what was put in your childhood basket?
I am in the w/o kids category so when I was a kid my mom would put jelly beans, hard-boiled eggs, usually some chocolate candy like some peanut butter eggs, and there was always a big chocolate something.  I loved that big chocolate something.

5. Do you get a summer haircut?
No, I do not.

Saturday, February 25, 2012

Friday Five!!!



Haven't posted in a while so I figured I need to give the masses something.  So here's this week's Friday Five!!!!

How many schools (up until college) have you attended, in all?

Let's see: Grant Elementary in Lakewood, OH (1); Aledo Elementary (2); Aledo Intermediate (3) Aledo Junior High (4); and Wamogo High School (5)


How many states have you lived in before the age of 18? How many countries?

One country: America!  3 states: Ohio, Texas, and Connecticut


Have you ever seen the hospital where you were born -- where is it/what's it's name?

Yes, I have.  It was a Kaiser Permanente Hospital in Cleveland, OH (not county) that is no longer there.


Do you plan to live in the same state in which you were born, or somewhere else?

Well, seeing as I currently do not live in the state in which I was born, it does not look good for living in Ohio.  Especially since my husband has never lived more than an hour from his Kaufman, even to go to college.  I'm always open to whatever including Ohio or any other state or country. 


Do you still talk to people from elementary school, middle-school or high school?

I do still talk to people from high school.  Sarah, Mark, and Liz especially.  I read a lot of posts by a lot of people from high school.  I take an extra effort to check Stephanie's to see how she's doing.  I do also talk to some people that I knew while I was in high school but that I didn't go to high school with.  My church was (and is) a huge part of my social life and I'm still in touch with quite a few of those individuals.  No one from the elementary school in Ohio and the people in the Texas elementary school are the same from the Texas middle school.  The only one of those individuals that I still talk to is Stacia and that's because she found me on Facebook.  Oh wait!!!  Not true, I also am in touch with Mary Katherine from middle school as she is also on Facebook.  I also worked with on a daily basis for 2.5 years with the little sister of one of the boys I went to middle school with.

Thursday, February 2, 2012

Friday Five…on Wednesday


I meant to do a Friday Five* on Friday, but I forgot.  So today, I'm doing last week's Friday Five and I'll try to do this week's actually on Friday.  So, for your reading enjoyment, here is my Friday Five!!!

What event in the world has most shaped your worldview?
I know it seems cliche to say 9/11 but that was my generation's JFK.  What impacted me most about 9/11 was Flight 93 that went down in Shanksville, PA.  I've written a blog about this in the past, like way back.  I remember reading about the passengers on that flight and how willing they were to risk their lives to take the terrorists down.  I wondered, "Would I be one of the ones going down that aisle or sitting in my seat watching and praying?"  When I expressed this question to my mom she said that she had no doubt that I would be going down that aisle.  I, however, wasn't so sure.  Since then I've tried to live my life to become the kind of person that would wield a knife against a terrorist in a plane.

What personal event in your life is the most noteworthy to you?
I have many to choose from: my grandfather's death, my first mission trip (with the vampires), graduation from seminary.  However, I'm going to choose getting kicked out of my church.  That incident shaped me.  I saw how deceived people can be and how our decisions have an effect on others.  It would have been really easy for me to turn my back on church completely but instead I became more acutely aware of how my actions could be twisted and inappropriately perceived.  I became really sensitive to appearance which I believe has served me well in ministry.

What is something you hope to see in the future?
I hope to see me healthy enough to have children.  I saw an episode of a show called, "Obese and Pregnant."  I don't want that.  I want to be healthy so my kids can be healthy.

What song reminds you of the happiest day of your life?
It is really hard for me to pick the happiest day of my life because I've had so many.  I know, I need to cut it out, Polly Sunshine.  Without a doubt, one of the happiest days of my life was when I got married.  My dearest friends and family were there and it was just a blast.  It was beautiful, had good food, and I looked FANTASTIC, if I do say so myself.  The song that Curtis and I danced to was entitled, "The Nearness of You" by Norah Jones.  Every time I hear that song I think of dancing with my new husband and the beautiful day.

What song reminds you of the saddest day of your life? 
I've had a couple of sad days.  Probably one of the saddest was the day my grandfather died.  I won't get into the details of the day but I will tell you that my Dad-o was an incredible man and I haven't seen that many people at a funeral who wasn't a celebrity.  I sang a song at his funeral mostly because of the chorus.  I was requested to sing Amazing Grace, the Chris Tomlin version.  The chorus says, "My chains are gone, I've been set free."  Dad-o had so many physical ailments he was truly in chains in his own body.  Not anymore. 

So I guess my saddest day also speaks of happiness because the celebration of his life was incredible.  This Friday Five is a bit more serious than some I've seen, but that's ok, I dig it.

*If you do not know what a Friday Five is and still haven't picked it up from the rest of the post, allow me to explain.  A Friday Five is a series of five questions that are asked every Friday for bloggers to answer.  The questions are different each week and are different from source to source.

Friday, January 27, 2012

Heroes (not the show)


I posted this as a note on Facebook back in March of 2011.  I just found it as I was checking out the timeline format (which I'm kinda diggin').  I reread it and felt the need to post it again because it's still applicable.

***************************************************************

Currently, in my job, I don’t have the opportunity to do much couples counseling.  However, recently I find myself in the position of being the resident couples counselor and having a grand ol’ time returning to the counseling of my roots.  Of course most of it is colored with the underlying issue of alcoholism or addiction but nevertheless it’s couples counseling.

In a facility where 4/5 of the population is adolescent, we don’t really see a lot of people coming through that are in committed relationships, even those of us that work with the 1/5 that are adults.  Unfortunately, in my line of work I get exposed to the most fractured relationships and the most traumatic stories.  I feel truly blessed to come home to a man that loves me.

This little note was prompted by the fact that I reading my dad’s blog today.  http://www.pastordeaton.blogspot.com/ if you want to go check it out.  In his personal information on the right hand side it had a section that asked about who his heroes were.  He listed them in this order:  Jesus Christ, my dad, Dawn Deaton, my children, Jack Bauer.

For those of you who are unaware, Dawn Deaton is my mother.  My dad views my mom as one of his heroes.  I think that is one of the best things I’ve heard ever.  I grew up watching my parents model what it meant to have a husband be the head of the family yet have a marriage where they were equal partners.  It was a beautiful balance.  My mother would defer to my dad but my dad would never make a major decision without seeking out my mother.

My mother is a remarkable women, though she doesn’t think so, which makes her even more remarkable.  She did not have a storybook childhood yet instead of carrying that on to her children, she made a decision to make the effort to not do things the same way.  When the small church that my dad pastored could no longer support a family of four, my mom willingly moved across the country away from her 5 sisters and her best friend that she had since the 8th grade.  When my father got a new church in Connecticut, she stayed in Texas with two kids by herself for two months just so we could finish the school year.  She has had two knee replacements and after the last surgery was up walking around the nurses’ station THE SAME DAY.  My mom does not have a college education yet she is sought after for counsel on personal and theological matters frequently and for good reason.  She has earned the respect of people seeking her out.

To be honest, I wasn’t surprised when I saw that my dad listed my mom as a hero.  I was more surprised by the reference to his children.  I guess I’ve been a little jaded lately with my work and God led me to my father’s blog at just the right time.  I needed to be reminded of the husbands out there that lift up their wives for the heroes they are.

Especially my mom.

Wednesday, January 25, 2012

The Sauna


So, since Germie has finished his rough draft of the first book in my trilogy, I've been inspired to start writing things again. I've written a few short stories in my day. I would be no means say that I am a writer, however. I just like to do it. So I found a website that generates settings, first few words of the first sentence, and then four additional words that must be used in the story. One of my best stories was written with such a prompt. You can read it by going to the archives and picking, "For the Love of Patsy Cline."

This one is a bit sappy but I still enjoyed writing it. Here are the prompts:
setting: in a sauna
first words: The stairs seemed
additional words: quench, drip, dribble, toenails.

So without further ado, I give you, "The Sauna."

The Sauna

The stairs seemed awfully steep for a sauna that catered to the elderly. I was looking for my grandmother who has walked away from me while I was trying to re-register her at the Senior Center. I knew that she loved the sauna so that was the first place that I went to look. By the looks of the stairs, I assumed that the center management only wanted the more agile of the seniors to utilize the sauna.

I started to ascend the steps when a very harsh voice called out, “What do you think you are doing, young lady?!” I turned to see a short, nicely muscled man about 60 years old. He was wearing a towel around his waist and I was praying that he had on shorts underneath.

“I believe my grandmother is in there and I have an appointment I need to take her to.” Grandmother was supposed to be seeing a therapist to help her cope with the recent loss of Grandfather. They did everything together and she was not doing well without him. She seemed lost.

“Well, you can’t go in there dressed like that. All that denim will clog the vent with its fibers.” He then pointed me towards the women’s dressing area. As I entered, I saw a bin marked “soiled” and could only imagine what constituted soiled around here. Next to it was a book shelf, most likely from IKEA, which had each shelf labeled with different sizes. Upon closer inspection, I was pleasantly surprised to see stacks of blue cotton cover-ups that matched the polish on my toenails. I was afraid that the older man intended me to enter into the sauna with nothing but a towel on. That would never do. Now I can be fully covered and be color coordinated.

I grabbed an appropriately sized cover up and changed. I took a fresh towel off of the stack by the door to the shower area and then stepped back out in the hallway leading to sauna. To my surprise, the older man was still standing just at the bottom of the stairs. Apparently he was waiting to make sure I didn’t sneak in with my jeans on. He had his arms crossed over his chest which made the 5 long grey hairs stand up. He looked at me sternly and asked, “What is your grandmother’s name?”

“Margaret Tennyman,” I answered.

His face immediately softened. It was then that I noticed the drip of sweat that was rolling down his neck to his chest. He must have gone into the sauna before meeting me at the stairs.

“You’re Margie’s granddaughter? She talks about you often. She is one of the best people. Period.”

My grandmother had been quite the burden lately due to her grief. It was strange to hear someone say that about her. I knew that she wasn’t a bad person but that she was a handful. Even the center staff would tell me that she had trouble following direction to the point of endangering herself. I loved my grandmother but I was struggling with her. And I had my own grief over the loss of my grandfather to contend with.

I mumbled out a short, “Thank you,” and tried to move past him to go up the stairs. He stepped in front of me and looked me in the eyes.

“You be gentle with her. Try to understand.”

I was startled. Trying not to show it, I said, “Yes, sir.”

He then let me pass. I opened the door and received a blast of hot air on my face. It was so steamy in there that I had trouble seeing. Then I heard her voice.

“…one of the happiest moments of my life. There she stood with her trophy hugged to her chest and smiling so wide you could see all of her missing teeth. I can see it like a photograph in my mind. That adorable blue dress with the pink flowers just made her blue eyes sparkle...”

As she continued her story, I realized that she was talking about me. She was telling the story of when I won my 3rd grade talent show. I had sung a song that my mother used to sing to me when she would rock me to sleep.

“…I was so proud that she had inherited her grandfather’s musical ability! My! Kenneth could sing! I believe that’s when I fell in love with him, when he sang to me.”

“Grandmother?”

I heard another voice answer as my eyes began to adjust. “Margie, is this her? Your songbird?”

“Jessie?! What are you doing here, honey? Dribble some more water on the stones and then come over here and sit next to me.”

I did as I was instructed and then told her, “Grandmother, you had me worried. You disappeared as I was talking to the girl at the front desk.”

The older man from the stairs sat down across from us and responded, “Kaylie is a nice enough girl but she sure can make someone drowsy from how long it takes to finish all her paperwork.”

As I looked around the sauna I saw four people in addition to my grandmother and myself. The sauna guard, who I later learned was named Ernest, a very plump woman with dark grey hair named Lucinda, a tall skinny woman with her long salt and pepper hair pulled into a tight bun named Lynn, and a small petite woman named Pearl. The woman who asked if I was my grandmother’s songbird was Lucinda.

“Oh dear, you shouldn’t have worried about me. I know everyone here and everyone here knows me. This is the safest place I could be, besides with my Kenneth.”

Everyone else nodded their agreement with this statement. Then as if she wasn’t interrupted, my grandmother continued to tell about the regional competition that 3rd grade me won with the song, “The Sun’ll Come Out Tomorrow.” She very clearly described the red curly wig I wore and how many bobby pins were required to keep in on my head over my thick brown hair. Grandmother described the glow of pride on my Grandfather’s face as he watched me perform. As she told the story I recalled how my grandfather lifted me up in the air to twirl me around saying, “Good job, Honeybee! That’s my girl!” My grandfather was always so strong. I didn’t think that anything could stop him, especially not cancer. The cancer came on so quick and by the time that he was diagnosed, he only had 8 days left on this earth.

I began to cry softly. Because of the darkness of the room and the sweat that was now pouring down my face, no one noticed.

Lynn then reflected on her sister. Lynn told us that her sister, Jane, would make the best pies and that Lynn had convinced her to enter one of them into the county fair’s contest. Jane, who loved to make pies, actually entered a pie in every category, and won each one. Lynn laughed as she shared that Jane was embarrassed because she thought everyone would be convinced that she cheated somehow.

Lucinda, who had laughed along with Lynn said, “I bet you sure miss those pies.”

“I sure do. It’s probably one of the things that I think of daily since I lost her. It’s a good memory so it doesn’t get me sad like some of the times that I think about her. What I would give to taste her chocolate cream pie again. She got the balance just right: not to light and not to dense. Oh! I think I just made my stomach grumble!” She chuckled as she rubbed her abdomen.

One-by-one, each shared a story about a loved one that they had lost. Lucinda spoke of her mother and the way that she would braid Lucinda’s hair so tight that she would have to skip recess for having a headache. Pearl shared how her best friend and she would try to convince the boys to let them play stick ball with them. Pearl said that one day her and Peggy dressed up like boys and tricked the boys into believing that they were new in the neighborhood. When Pearl and Peggy out hit every boy there, they took off their hats to reveal their true identities and it caused quite a ruckus. Ernest even shared how his wife and he used to go dancing every Friday night. Ernest said that she was admitted to the hospital for the last time on a Saturday and they had gone out dancing the night before.

Finally, Lucinda turned to me, “What about you, songbird? Do you have a story to share?”

I was taken aback. During the whole story-telling, I just viewed myself as an observer not an actual participant. Once I got over my initial shock, it wasn’t difficult to find a story to tell.

“When I was 5 years old, I wanted so badly to take the training wheels off of my bike. My dad, who was never really in the picture because he had to work all the time, couldn’t teach me. My grandfather was very eager to see me without the training wheels so he volunteered as soon as he heard my complaint. He took me to the garage and we took out my bike. I still remember, it had a pink and white basket with streamers hanging off of the handles. He got his tools and took the training wheels off. He tried to explain how to ride a two-wheeled bike but I must have made a face because he jumped on my tiny bike and started wheeling around. He looked so silly with his legs sticking out from the sides. I giggled as he rode around. Finally he stopped and said ‘Hop on.’ He held it as I got on and walked with me down the driveway to the sidewalk. He turned the bike and asked me if I was ready to try. When I nodded he pushed the bike but didn’t move his foot so I rode right over it. I fell before he even let go mostly because I was laughing at running over his foot. I kept laughing as he hopped up and down, holding his foot, acting as if I had rolled over it with a steamroller. He was always goofing around like that. Every time I take my bike out on the trails, I think of that day and smile.”

I looked at my grandmother and she was smiling. She patted my arm and said, “That was a great memory. You didn’t know it but I was watching from the window ready to bring out a Band-Aid. I should have known better. It would always take nearly losing a limb before you would cry over a boo boo.”

Ernest suddenly said, “Wait a minute, doesn’t Margie have an appointment to get to?”

I haven’t seen my grandmother look as happy as the time she spent in that sauna with her friends. All this time I thought my grandmother was retreating from the world and reality when all she needed as a place to relive her good memories. I’d been disconnecting from her as she tried to grieve and I was too caught up in the technical aspects of grief that I couldn’t grieve myself. How silly of me to think that grief could quench her spirit. True it is with great sadness that she, and I, must transition from experiencing my grandfather to reliving memories, but it’s in reliving those memories that he still lives. In that time in that sauna, I began to understand my grandmother in a whole new way. Suddenly, she didn’t seem like such a burden, but rather a comrade through a trial.

“No,” I answered Ernest. “I believe she got everything she needed here.”

Thursday, January 19, 2012

Celebrity Crushes


I know that Curtis won't be too thrilled with this journal entry but it was the only journal prompt that I found that wasn't whiney or really serious. So here it is, I present to you:

3 Celebrity Crushes!!!!

1. Johnny Depp

Now I know that there are plenty of people out there who have a crush on Johnny Depp, however, my crush originated during the 21 Jumpstreet era. I know he's all scruffy and hippie-esque now, but the Johnny that I crushed on was the young bad/good boy.



2. Sean Connery

Unlike Johnny, I find myself still crushing on the older Sean Connery. He may be closing in on 82 years old, but he's still a very...um...attractive man. Young Sean was also very...um...attractive. Not gonna lie, SNL's Celebrity Jeopardy contributed to my "love" of Sean Connery.




3. Liam Neeson. Not sure I need to explain this one too much except he is one of the nicest guys who can seriously kick some tail. Did you see Taken? Awesome. And because we all know that I love the Celts, Rob Roy was one of my favorite Liam roles. He was even incredible as an animated lion.






Honorable Mention. This one was hard to pick. The first three were obvious to me. I thought about Ryan Reynolds and Robert Downey, Jr (Carr!e has the rights to that one). I also thought about non-drunk, non-antisemitic spouting Mel Gibson. I finally settled on Gerard Butler. Obviously, there's something about the Scottish accent that I looooooooooove. I think I've...respected...Gerard's work since the life changing movie of Lara Croft Tomb Raider: The Cradle of Life. Crush worthiness was solidified with the movie 300.

Final Note:
My biggest crush is not on a celebrity. I go absolutely weak at the knees when it comes to a certain computer nerd. What can I say? I love nerds, one in particular.
(previous two pictures taken by Aphrodite Photography)