"H" is for Horrible Bosses

Back in April I started a challenge that I never finished because I can never seem to finish those type of things. Well, I'm picking it back up today. It originally was an April challenge but I obviously failed only making it to the 7th letter. Maybe I'll actually complete it before April comes around again. Anyway, "H" is for Horrible Bosses.

No, I'm not talking about the movie. I've never seen the movie and there is not a plan to see it, either. No, this is about real horrible bosses. I'm not talking about my boss(es) but someone who is very dear to me (who did not give me permission to post about this) has just been shafted by her horrible bosses. This particular shafting is just another one in a long list of questionable choices they have made. Their behavior has confirmed much of my disillusionment with the American church. 

My feelings toward the American church are not about the people. I love God's people and spending time with them and serving them and serving with them is one of my favorite things in the world. 

However, much of the church leadership has led to a shift in my attitude. 

It is not a shift for the better. 

I am extremely fortunate to be working at a church where the leadership is not too big for their britches. They seek to do God's will and serve Him and His people in the best way possible. That includes teaching His word and loving. Grace Fellowship is place where people love. It's that simple.

Just simply loving people. No matter what.

It is this church that has helped me understand what it means to "love people to the cross" and not just stand on your beliefs of what the worst sins are in the hopes that it "set an example." Ugh!* 

However, I have been put in the position to either experience first-hand or watch others experience the holier-than-thou-I'm-a-spiritual-giant-so-of-course-I'm-right attitude that many American Christians have. It's like they take people who disagree with them as the great persecution of those called by God. Being in a leadership position in a church or ministry does leave one open for a higher level of scrutiny and even attack. But not every person who has an opposing opinion or a suggestion is the proverbial thorn in their side. God could be using those people to help correct where they have gone awry. **

Let me give you an example of the OPPOSITE of my complaint: I've seen my pastor take a smack down, finger-wagging, scolding with humility. I've watched him analyze himself and his actions and take the scolding that he took to make him a better minister. It would have been so easy for him to dismiss what that person said to him. He didn't. He knows he's human and makes mistakes. He knows that, just like the rest of us, we may need some correction from people that love him. 

These previously mentioned horrible bosses seem to have this idea that everything they do is God-ordained and anyone that has even a small deviation from their way of doing things, is not in God's plan. I know I'm probably being overly critical but I'm pissed. 

My disillusionment with the American church is that I see a lack of true, God-centered love. The kind of "love" I see the most often is one that is self-serving and ends in a badge that can be worn that says, "Look at me! I loved someone!"

To that person that is so very dear to me: your horrible bosses are now somebody else's problem. I love you.

Now, where do I get my badge?

*Please don't misunderstand me. I do think it is important to not compromise your standards or convictions. However, our job is to love. If we think someone else's sin is worth protesting than why aren't we protesting outside your house for that lie you told last week or the Facebooking you do at work on company time? 

**Coincidentally, there a great new book out that can be ordered from Amazon for your Kindle or paperback. It's called 15 Reason Why Things Happen by Darril Deaton. Great book. Don't forget to read the forward. 

"G" is for Giggle

When did it become unmasculine to giggle? When did that word become associated with girlie things? Is it associated with girlie things? Am I just making that up? Or am I simply projecting what others have said to me when I've commented on their giggles?

I'm gonna go with the last one. He's gonna be mad at me for saying this, but here goes:

My husband giggles.

He does! He hates it when I say that because he says that men don't giggle. Well, I looked up the definition of giggle in the dictionary and this is what it says:

gig·gle

/ˈɡiɡəl/

verb

laugh lightly in a nervous, affected, or silly manner.

noun
a light, silly laugh.

No where in that definition does it say that it is unmanly or girlie. And no, I didn't just cut off the defintion to suit my purposes. I find giggles to be very endearing. I love it when my husband giggles. It is such a joyful sound because he doesn't do it when he's nervous. He only does it when he finds something surprisingly funny but not guffaw-funny. 

By the way, his guffaw is also a favorite of mine.

"F" is for Feelings, ugh

I’ve posted about this subject before so writing this blog was not a difficult one. Have you ever had someone tell you when you were upset, “Don’t be upset?” Doesn’t really help, does it? Many times when someone does that, it just leads to feeling more upset. This type of situation typically induces thoughts such as, “If I could turn it off, I would,” and “Oh, ok, because you told me to not be upset then I won’t.” The thought that we have no control over our emotions is rampant throughout our culture.  For example:

“You can’t help what you feel.”

“That’s just how I feel. I can’t help it.”

“I wish I could change the way I feel, but I just can’t.”

“I can’t help but love him/her.”

(Cute picture. Stupid quote.)

 All of those statements reflect a general consensus of society as a whole. These are phrases I hear uttered on almost a daily basis. I hear it from strangers in the coffee shop, characters on TV and in movies, from my clients, and from friends as they share their woes.

I challenge the idea that we have no control over our emotions. I think people who say the previous phrases are not giving themselves nearly enough credit. Doing so makes us a victim of our own emotions when emotions were to make things interesting, not to tether us to negativity.

Our emotions and our resulting behavior stem from what we tell our selves about the given situation. One boy gets rear-ended in traffic and goes ballistic on the other driver. Another boy in the same situation calmly gets out of his car and exchanges insurance information. What makes these boys different from one another? If our emotions are controlled by our situation, then these boys should have reacted the same way. However, the first boy was telling himself that being rear-ended was unacceptable and shouldn’t have happened. This belief led to his meltdown. The second boy was telling himself that this situation is unfortunate but it could have been worse. This belief led to him being calm and doing what was necessary to resolve the situation. The first boy was a victim of his own emotions and the second was empowered by his emotions.

Let’s talk about love, shall we? Now, I don’t believe love to be an emotion but that’s a blog for another time. Love is, however, another place that people have a tendency to believe that they have no choice. Recently, on a popular TV show someone uttered the statement, “You can’t help who you love.”

Not true. You can. God created us with a heart AND a brain. God gave us a command to love. John 13:34-35 says, “I give you a new command: Love one another. Just as I have loved you, you must also love one another. By this all people will know that you are My disciples, if you have love for one another.” If you couldn’t help who you love then God’s command to love one another would be redundant or at worst, a trap setting us up to fail. What makes a command a command instead of a statement is that the person being commanded has a choice to comply or not. If we had no choice then the scripture passage would read, “I give you a new statement: We will love one another.” Jesus chose to love us and thus we choose to love one another….or to not love one another.

 Don’t convince yourself that you are tied down by what you feel or who you love. Instead, you can be empowered by how you feel and how you love. Arguably, the most popular verse regarding empowerment is 2 Timothy 1:7. While the context of the verse is in regards to a calling of God to boldness in sharing the faith. I find that completely applicable to this subject. “For God has not given us a spirit of fearfulness, but one of power, love, and sound judgment.” This verse speaks to having a heart (love) and a brain (sound judgment). Let your love give you power to be the person that God has called you to be: a person with emotions, love, and a brain all working together.

"E" is for Everybody! Everybody!

La dee dah dee doh!

Those of you who know what that was all about, I salute you.

I miss Homestar Runner terribly. My group of friends and I frequently make references to things we have seen on that site. It still exists. I visit it every once in a while to see if there is anything new. And miracle of miracles, there was a new Marzipan's answering machine posted this month!

Click here to view it.

Most people who were frequent visitors of homestarrunner.com loved Strong Bad's emails the most. While I loved them, they weren't my favorite. I really loved the shorts and toons. However, I will say that I did have an absolute favorite email. And it didn't even have Strong Bad in it. However, that one is no longer on the site. This is the latest one, though.

***EDIT: I was wrong! My husband found that my favorite Strong Bad email is still there. Here it is!!!***

And then, of course, there's this.

One day I was feeling very nostalgic and I did a google search of Homestar images to use as a rotating background on my Lappier. Here's a sampling:

 This one is actually from my favorite SB email:

"D" is for Doppelganger

I have a history with doppelgangers. I will tell just a few of my stories.

Picking a college was not an easy choice to make. I initially wanted to go to school closer to home. My original plan was for Eastern College in Pennsylvania. However, the closest Southern Baptist school to where I lived gave me a scholarship for being a Southern Baptist. Of course, that school was a 12-hour drive away from home. Despite the distance, I ended up at Gardner-Webb University near Charlotte, NC. That's a long way from Morris, CT.

When I first got to the school, I started noticing a trend. People kept calling me Ashley. My name isn't Ashley. As it turns out, people thought that I looked an awful lot like an older student named Ashley. Once I met her, she told me that she sometimes got called Denise. At the time, I wore hats on occassion and I wore glasses. Someone has a picture somewhere of me and Ashley but Ashley is wearing my hat and my glasses.

***

I am frequently amazed by how much people mistake the identities of others based on a few physical traits. This happens a lot with my husband and his cousin. They have three main similarities. They are big, they are bald, and they have beards. However, my husband has a blonde beard and it is pretty long. His cousin has a dark brown/red beard and doesn't shave off whatever hair he has remaining.

When I worked at the residential treatment facility for the chemical dependent aged 12-24, there was another counselor named Stacy. At the time I had short, brown hair and she had hair so long that she would braid it in a long braid over her left shoulder. Her hair was also wavy and light brown, almost blonde. Yet Stacy got called Denise and I got called Stacy on a regular basis. It happened at least once a day. One day, Stacy got so frustrated that during lunch one day she said, "We look nothing alike! The only similarity is that we are big and wear glasses but are glasses are even very different!" I believe there might have been an "arg" in there, too.

***

This last one is my favorite. One day, as I was walking on the third floor of the hospital I worked at, one of the nurses stopped me as asked if I had a chance yet to see the patient in room 23. Apparently, that patient had been asking about her Medicare paperwork multiple times. 

It took me a while but I finally realized who she thought I was. At the time, my hair had been colored a red violet. The woman that I was being mistaken for is about a foot shorter than me, doesn't wear glasses, has black hair, and a sweet demeanor. Oh yeah, and she is a completely different race than me. I am a very pasty Caucasian and she is a Mexican. 

The only similarity we have is that we are overweight. 

Arg.

"C" is for Craigslist

The idea behind Craigslist is a pretty cool one. At least, until you factor in how disgusting humanity is. Well, a couple of years ago, with our anniversary coming up, I had yet to figure out what to get Curtis. I wanted to get him something he would really like that he would never get for himself. Then one day, I remembered Curtis talking about how he wasn't sure how many episodes of NCIS he may have missed over the years. I started to do a search to see how much it would cost to buy all the seasons to date, which was 1-7.

Whew, it was expensive. I love my husband, but I couldn't afford that.

In walks Craigslist.

To my surprise, there were a lot of people in my area that were looking to sell their DVDs of NCIS seasons 1-7. I looked for someone near where I worked which was in a upper class neighborhood. I found one and the contact information was for a woman who was asking a very reasonable price.

I made contact.

She seemed like a very lovely lady. Her price was really low and when I asked why, she said that she and her husband were trying to downsize. I agreed to meet at her house. She gave me her address and away I went.

As I was driving through the neighborhood, the houses just kept getting bigger and bigger. I pulled into the circular driveway of the house and immediately thought my little Ford Fiesta did not belong here. I knocked on the door and a man answered. I got a little nervous. He knew who I was and then he told me his wife had run to the grocery store. He ushered me into what looked like an office in what could possibly be the biggest single family dwelling I have ever walked into. In his office, he has stacks and stacks of movies and TV series. I told him how much the ad said and I handed him the money. He put the DVDs in a bag and then motioned to another stack and said I could pick two more movies because I didn't give him a hard time on the price. I told him that it would be ridiculous for me to try and haggle when the price his wife set was a really good one.

Curtis really liked the gift.

Now NCIS is on Netflix. I guess I could have just waited a few years.

"B" is for Believable

Since my sister (in-law) moved to Hong Kong 4 years ago, I have found my improvisation skills have weakened. I miss my Lexus for many reasons but this reason proves that her absence is a detriment to me. Let me explain.

Lexus can be somewhat gullible. It has provided me with much amusement over the years. The way this usually manifests with me is that she will be wondering about something out loud and I provide the answer. More often than not, my answer is made up on the spot. However, Lexus finds them very believable. In her defense, I'm very good at making them sound plausible while keeping my face straight. Let's see if I can think of any example.

I just texted her to see if she remembers an actual example. Meanwhile, I'll make one up. One day, Lexus and I may be talking about some of the plays I've been in including Nunsense. Then in the midst of the conversation, Lexus will wonder, "I wonder why nuns wear those habits." The following is something I might tell her:

Well, you know how back in the early church, women always had their head covered? When Peter was named the first Pope, the Catholics want to still show respect but want to prove how they were better. So they took it further and covered themselves from head to foot. To differentiate themselves from the Muslims, they would leave their faces completely bare with the white framing to symbolize God's purity in their lives. 

Lexus would say, "Really?" then, "Wait, are you lying to me?"

Seems totally believable to me.

"A" is for Anime

I am totally copying my friend, Jeremy, and doing a blogging challenge. The goal is to do a blog a day in April (except Sundays) and use the alphabet as the guide. I'm starting a day late so I'll blog on this Sunday to catch up. So here we go.

"A" is for Anime

I have a friend that has a problem. Anything that has to do with Japan makes her squeal like a little kid opening presents on Christmas morning. Her biggest obsession (of sorts) is anime. I have a few other friends that are also really into anime but she's a bit ridiculous.

Since she and I are really close friends, I have been exposed to more anime than I care to admit. I even went to Anime North Texas (there was a Groupon). I gave in and started watching one called Attack on Titan. It was interesting but it kinda lost me after a while. I stopped watching right before the female Titan came around.

Then came RWBY. I watched all that was available because I was watching it with others. And true, I even have a favorite character. It was fun but when the third season came out, I didn't watch it. I know I will eventually but I think it can only be watched on Crunchy Roll and I don't have a subscription. I'm sure it will come out on Netflix. I'll watch it then.

Now, I'm making an effort with another one. Full Metal Alchemist. I've been told that the Brotherhood is the best but how can you jump into the middle of a complicated story. I've started from the beginning and so far it has my attention which means that it is distracting me from homework and paperwork.

Gotta say, the little kids in this show are absolutely adorable.

You can read Jeremy's A to Z Challenge here.

Thanks, Jeremy, for introducing me to the A-to-Z Challenge.