Repost of My Unfocus

I admit it, I’m chicken. I knew my friend was dying. I knew it. But I still didn’t go see her. I didn’t call her. I didn’t do anything. I did nothing.

Why?

I was scared. I didn’t know what to say. I didn’t know what to do. I was afraid that I would go over and be in the way. I was afraid that I would be a nuisance. I’ve been a nuisance for a good portion of my life that I felt like that would’ve been the worst time to be one. Of course, I was afraid that this would be saying goodbye and I wasn’t ready.

I’m still not sure if I’m ready.

My first day at River Oaks Baptist Church was coincidentally by 25th birthday. Somehow, the word got around. I showed up at church that day and walked up to the youth Sunday school room to a party. I still don’t know who told that it was my birthday because I know I sure didn’t point it out. It just happened to be on my résumé. Donna had made a card with her superior stampin’ skills and had made me a stone tile coaster. She gave it me stating, “I hope you drink coffee.” She did not yet know that I had regular seating at the Camp Bowie Starbucks.

The next Sunday was Easter. My grandparents didn’t really have big Easter plans and Darin and Alexis were way out in Lone Camp or Ponder. My plan was to go through a drive-thru after church and then go home. Donna did not really like those plans. Neither did Phil, her husband. Immediately, I was gathered up and on my way to Phil’s parents’ house for Easter dinner. I was sat at the kids’ table where a food fight commenced consisting of jelly beans and butter. Special appearances made by Hailey and Eric.

From that point on, I was adopted. Donna knew I didn’t have my parents here in Texas. My grandparents were here but they lived in Weatherford and were very busy people. Donna took care of me. Our relationship is a weird one. A very functional weird one. As the youth minister, the worked for me because she was a volunteer in that she was at every youth function and taught Sunday school. She went to youth camp every year and just generally helped out anywhere it was needed. She is a very strong minded woman yet she willing put herself under the “authority” of a much younger person. Of course it helped that I highly respect her opinion in all matters. At the same time, she was like a mother to me. She took care of me when I was sick and helped celebrate birthdays and told me when I was being an idiot. She came to me for advice and counsel and I came to her for the same. Like I said, our relationship is strange one, but a highly functional one.

Last Wednesday, I spent most of my day in the hospital. She knows she has only a few days left. I walked into her room and true to Donna’s form she said, “Hey! I had forgotten you had cut off all your hair.” That’s my girl. I sat down next to her and the next thing out of her mouth was, “Phil, tell Denise about Regina.” You see, Donna had been talking to her friend Regina for years about Jesus. I’ve heard about Regina before. Well, while Donna is literally on her deathbed, she is still telling her friend about Jesus on Tuesday, Regina gave her heart to Jesus. When Donna was telling me about it she said to me, “It was then that I realized that this is where I needed to be and that if it took my death to bring her to Christ that it was worth it.”

I got to spend about 5 minutes with alone with her. Those minutes are precious to me.

I can’t imagine getting to this point in your life and being so at peace with it. In addition to the peace, through all the pain and suffering she is still cracking heaven jokes and picking on her loved ones. I always thought Donna was amazing and now she continues to prove me right.

There’s been a few theories floating around as to why God would need Donna in heaven now. One of them includes her Aunt Winnie needing someone to keep her under control. I think my personal favorite, and probably the most accurate, is one that Pete came up with: Someone is throwing a party up in heaven and they need Donna to stamp the invitations.

So, how do you say goodbye to such a dear friend who's meant so much? I may not know, but Donna does.

"Can't wait to see you again. I'll be waiting for you."